a needless source of conflict in a loving marriage
∗∗∗∗ Be sure to visit our new marriage and sex page on our blog site. ∗∗∗∗
*****Warning – sexually explicit topic is discussed***** Reader discretion is advised*****
Our target audience for this essay is married women and those women who are engaged to be married. Married men may wish to pass this on to their wives if it is applicable to their marriage.
Please note: we have added an addendum (below) that can be helpful to wives who are not yet comfortable with giving oral sex to their husbands.
Some married women still have some hesitation and reluctance with performing oral sex for their husband, but there really is no need for this. Oral sex is often engaged in by couples as part of foreplay leading to intercourse. But, as everyone knows, oral sex can also be performed for those times when intercourse is not mutually desired.
Ladies, do not get hung up on the idea that performing oral sex for your husband is somehow degrading or demeaning to you, the wife. (See the link below to our earlier marriage essays that treat that unwarranted concern and dispel it.) Oral sex, when approached with the right mental attitude, can be a beautiful and enjoyable expression of your love for your spouse.
Sex (intercourse) during pregnancy and during the menses can be uncomfortable. Wives, these are likely times when you may not want intercourse. As well, oral sex can be performed for any times when you do not desire intercourse for any reason(s).
Fellatio can be playfully and easily performed during these times with the act continuing through his climax. There is no risk to you (nor to your baby, if you are pregnant) if you swallow your husband’s semen (if he is free of sexually transmitted diseases); or if you prefer (as some women do), you can watch him releasing (“shooting”) on to your breasts. But, even if you do not want to swallow his ejaculate, ladies, it is much better for your husband physically and emotionally, and more intimate for him and for you, to simply let him climax inside your mouth. Opening your lips some while he is ejaculating (on the “outstroke”, when your mouth is moving rapidly along his upper shaft to the tip or head of the penis) allows the semen to easily run out of your mouth.
Spread a large towel under you. The kneeling position (on a pillow or a folded towel) allows for more neck and jaw comfort while performing oral sex, and also makes it easier (and quicker) for many men to ejaculate from oral sex. As well, this position helps make accepting his ejaculation easier and more comfortable for you. (This is true for both receiving the pulses inside your mouth, and for directing them on to your breasts.)
Tip: If the semen taste is difficult for you to experience, be aware that kneeling in front of your husband, or sitting on a chair or cushion, can also help to better align your throat with his penis than in other positions. This helps to avoid much of the semen taste during ejaculation as the semen will more easily and quickly go into (and down) your throat. Many women find it easier to swallow from this position.
Any reluctance you have is mostly mental, and can be overcome with a little experience and confidence gained. The links below can be helpful to wives who wish to gain a fuller appreciation of the importance of oral sex within a loving relationship. Your tender fellatio can be an enjoyable, exciting, and very special form of lovemaking for you and for your husband. The enhanced intimacy comes from the shared vulnerability, the trust, the respect, and the acceptance that you share with each other.
From Renee Wade’s blog, thefemininewoman.com, we have this very insightful essay:
This next essay is from our own marriage series in the summer of 2012 (read essay part 3, before proceeding on to part 4). This essay also addresses in detail exactly what a man feels when he climaxes and ejaculates and can help wives gain a greater understanding and appreciation of their husband’s climax and its importance. This essay also includes many insightful comments from women with their thoughts about their husband’s ejaculations and the high value these wives place on receiving the ejaculation. Recommended.
Also, from another married woman’s blog, we have these 2 insightful essays:
This next essay has some very helpful suggestions for wives, and also has some relevant comments and questions from a few women. Highly recommended.
Here is an article that addresses this sensitive issue in a helpful and positive way. It is written for Christian wives by a Christian husband. Highly recommended.
Here is a very good essay with tons of comments from wives on this subject.
Another helpful essay with numerous insightful reader comments:
Here is a link to another relevant article. We also include our posted comment (lengthy quote) to it below. Julie Sibert does a great job on her intimacy in marriage blog (from a Christian perspective).
Thanks Julie for taking on the macro issue of sexual demands within a loving marriage and in specifically addressing oral sex. (This demand of swallowing is more prevalent than many people may realize.)
Spouses ought not make demands or use coercion in their loving sexual relationship. However, honest and open communication (without fear) can lead to compromises that respect both spouses’ needs, concerns and desires. Win-win compromises can be reached.
Pardon me for being explicit here. Specifically, the husband that demands his wife swallow every time during fellatio is wrong and is not being considerate of his wife. But, what is sometimes overlooked or minimized is that the wife who absolutely refuses to ever let her husband ejaculate inside her mouth is also being very inflexible and needlessly rigid in her thinking and attitude. As you, Julie, pointed out in your essay two years ago, semen is not poisonous.
Obviously, the man can be terribly inconsiderate of his wife during the act if he chooses to be. But, for many married couples who have a positive attitude towards the intimacy and the shared vulnerability and respect during oral sex, the act is a beautiful expression of love. It is not in any way “demeaning” to the wife for those couples.
How about a win-win compromise, husbands and wives?! For those times, when you both want him to climax during fellatio, how about some of the time letting him release inside his wife’s warm, wet mouth? Not every time, but on some (not infrequent) occasions. As to swallowing, that really is in many cases just a request to be allowed to freely finish in her mouth. Wives, if they want, can simply let the semen run out of their mouth. (Overcome the mental block and you will find that physically it is no big deal.)
Sadly, this specific issue is a source of conflict in many marriages where neither spouse is willing to compromise. Meet each other halfway and you can make the oral sex a joyous, tender and playful part of your lovemaking!
end of comment
Here is a recent, insightful essay that can be helpful to both wives and husbands.
Chocolate covered strawberries.
Addendum – more detailed and explicit (of necessity)
∗∗∗∗∗∗ Be sure to read the special message for wives – 3 paragraphs down. ∗∗∗∗∗∗
As this addendum is quite long, the interested reader can either read it completely from start to finish, or alternatively, scroll down and read selected portions of it. There is some repetition and this was largely unavoidable as we wanted to stress certain points to help wives and also provide many insightful comments from experienced wives. (There is a contact form at the very bottom of the essay for submitting private comments, feedback or confidential questions. Comments/questions received on this form are never published.)
We are adding (now in May, 2013) these next many paragraphs as they may be of help to wives (of any age). Middle aged wives who have refused to do this for their husbands for many years of marriage need to read this and rethink their position. Please read and carefully consider these paragraphs. (Some readers may think the below paragraphs are overkill and perhaps unnecessary, but the intended audience is those wives who still have a mental block against performing oral sex. Those wives who already know and experience the joys of oral sex will already know much of what is addressed below.) The main goal here is for women to see the value of performing oral sex and that the shared intimacy is greatest when the wife “finishes” the act. Near the end, we discuss the meaning and value to the husband of his wife’s loving fellatio. This is a relevant component that is sometimes not adequately addressed. I will share the man’s perspective based on my experiences receiving oral sex, and on the many comments by other husbands read on various forums over several months. (Towards the end of this last section, we briefly address some additional physical concerns of wives.) This last section (“why this matters”) really ought to be carefully read by all wives, as it addresses both emotional and physiological issues they may not be aware of.
The most often cited reason for a wife not enjoying her fellatio is the ejaculation occurring inside her mouth. (Thus, we address the ejaculation at the end of her oral sex at great length and in rather graphic specifics. So, again, reader discretion is advised. Our purpose is to help wives (who are not doing this, or are having problems in this area) more easily overcome their anxieties so that they can freely and comfortably receive their husband’s ejaculation, readily swallow the ejaculate, and enjoy performing oral sex with confidence and without any stress. Many of the wives who make the effort in this area find that their anxieties can be easily discarded. It is very important for the husband that his ejaculation occurs in his wife’s mouth rather than outside of it.) So-called “deep throating” of the penis largely avoids this issue. But, this is not easy to do for many, if not most, women. The following paragraphs are for those wives who have not yet learned to “deep throat” the penis during ejaculation, or who have difficulty doing so because of the sensitivity of their gag reflex, and/or the girth of their husband’s penis, and/or the size of their mouth, etc., or simply prefer not to “deep throat” (for any reason(s) – as you and/or your husband may prefer the finish in your mouth rather than in your throat).
∗∗∗∗ Special message for wives (a must read):
We do argue in favor of accepting (allowing) your husband’s ejaculation inside your mouth and then swallowing his semen. This is the most intimate and sexually satisfying way to finish oral sex for your husband. However, we recognize that some wives have difficulty doing this. When the reasons are physical, the husband should be understanding and not demand his wife do this. In time, with practice, you may find you are able to do this with little physical discomfort. But, this appendix is mainly written to help the wives who have a mental block or fear of accepting the ejaculation inside their mouth and are hesitant to try. Work up to it, but make the effort to overcome the fear and do try accepting the ejaculation inside your mouth, and at some point, swallowing. Recognizing the fear or mental block for what it is, and then making the conscious decision to set aside the fear and actually trying this a few to several times usually does the trick and frees you of any hesitancy or mental block.
There are 3 very important things to be aware of and keep in mind: 1. Your enthusiasm is much more important than your technique when you perform oral sex for your husband! 2. It is by nature a giving act. Thus, a small amount of discomfort should not discourage or prevent you from performing it. 3. It is not absolutely necessary that you swallow the ejaculate. (We do encourage this, but it is not a “deal-breaker” for most husbands. You can and really ought to discuss this with your husband at the start. Tell him that you need time to get used to accepting his ejaculation, but you want to try. He will likely appreciate your desire (willingness) to try, and you will not feel pressured to swallow while you are getting accustomed to accepting his ejaculation. This can make the process easier for you.) What is very important is accepting his ejaculation inside your mouth. Why? Why this is so: Emotionally for your husband, this tangibly shows him the deep level of your acceptance of him. Physically, it is very intense and gratifying for him to ejaculate inside your mouth while you continue providing him stimulation. (This is addressed at great length in the last section below.) Wives, consider how you would feel if your husband was performing oral on you and as you were getting very close to orgasming, you were on the cusp or edge of a very strong climax, he suddenly and abruptly removed his tongue and lips from your genitalia and just used his fingers to continue the stimulation? Would that not be a big let down for you, a big reduction in the very pleasurable, intense sensations you were beginning to feel and were enjoying?! Well, that is what the husband experiences when his wife, in the last seconds, pulls away and does not accept his ejaculation. The fact is that ejaculating in your hands or on to your breasts or over your face is not as intimate and enjoyable for him as doing so in your warm, wet mouth. You have a lot of power over his pleasure in this act!!
Taking all 3 points together, wives, we encourage you to accept your husband’s ejaculation in your mouth with some enthusiasm (even if you will discretely spit it out afterwards). It is really not a very big sacrifice and lasts only a very short time. Even if you are not yet able to swallow (for whatever reason), letting him finish in your warm, wet mouth is very emotionally intimate for both of you, and physically very gratifying for him. In time, you may find, as so many other wives have, that you can swallow the ejaculate without any discomfort – mental or physical. And, even if it takes a long time for you to work up to swallowing, or you choose to swallow only some times, in each oral love session with your husband (that is not foreplay) you can freely (and easily) accept and welcome his ejaculation inside your mouth with enthusiasm (as in being eager to receive his warm load with your mouth) – and you should. Your husband will be thrilled, and you (and he) will begin to enjoy together that very special, very sweet, very deep intimacy and closeness that comes when you are actively (not passively) participating in and sharing in his climax. Your acceptance of him is the greatest as he releases inside your mouth and you freely (joyously) accept the several pulses or jets of his semen because these are from him. He wants to release (pump) in your mouth; and you want him to as this completes your loving oral sex in the most intimate way possible, gives him very intense, manly pleasure(!), and so you can receive the spurts of semen as these are – after all – for you, the feminine wife, and are the fruit of (or reward for) your tender and loving efforts.
This is not all. Ladies – accepting your husband’s ejaculation is not just about his pleasure and the shared intimacy! It can also be about your pleasure. Many wives enjoy this exciting and very sensuous act so much that they quickly become aroused, and some can – and do – orgasm at the time they receive the ejaculation. (For some wives, manual stimulation of their genitals helps here. For others, it is not needed.) And, your husband wants for you to enjoy yourself while you are giving him oral sex. Your fellatio is truly an active, loving and reaffirming expression of your beautiful and endearing femininity! (Your very own experiences will show you this.) Why should you not enjoy it – physically, emotionally and psychologically?! Yes, you are being submissive when you perform oral sex and enthusiastically accept the ejaculation – but you are (freely) being so in an active, playful, expressive and tender way which creates (for you) deep intimacy with your husband!! That is the beauty and the magic of your fellatio.
Why should you not delight in your oral sex, and embrace the mutual pleasure and deep intimacy you can share with your husband?! Give yourself permission here. You may find that the more you let go of your needless inhibitions and unfounded fears, and the more you let yourself enjoy the act and its finish, the deeper the intimacy you feel with your husband becomes. Keep that in your mind as you read on. This addendum is to help you get there. ∗∗∗∗
Thalia August 25, 2013 at 2:21 pm
With respect, it’s not solely about the man’s pleasure. The lips are an incredible erogenous zone. Sometimes I feel selfish because fellatio is often about my own pleasure, especially when I repeatedly climax and he gets only one chance! Mostly I think it’s a mindset and a major turn-on for us both.
∗∗∗∗ Please read and think about the many comments from wives on their experiences that we have included throughout this appendix. These help to show that you are not alone; that other wives have struggled with oral sex; and that these wives have overcome their mental blocks and inhibitions, and then pleasantly discovered that they not only enjoy giving this exquisite pleasure to their husbands, but they also enjoy the act itself for the intimacy and closeness they feel with their husband(!); for the playfulness of the act and the variety of things they can do down there; for the growing anticipation (and desire) they feel for his climax; and for the exciting, unique physical sensations they experience (with their lips, tongue and mouth) all throughout the act. ∗∗∗∗
To help make the oral experience more pleasurable, ask your husband to shave, or at least trim, his pubic area regularly. Also, he ought to come to the marriage bed having recently washed or showered. Wives may want to tie their hair back behind the head to prevent their hair getting in the way and becoming a distraction. With just a little experience, you can become comfortable with touching, caressing, squeezing, stroking, licking and sucking your husband’s penis. (You may also gently fondle, or lightly scratch or stroke his testes during the fellatio. Stroking or applying pressure with your finger tips to the area just below or behind his testes stimulates his prostate gland (from the exterior) and is pleasurable for men.) These playful, loving actions leading up to “the finish” are not difficult for wives to do. As several of the comments (below) from women indicate, having your husband eating a healthy and natural diet, with a variety of fruits and fruit juices, can (and often does) improve the taste of his ejaculate and that helps you to enjoy “the finish”.
If you have any hesitation or reluctance with letting your husband finish inside your mouth, be aware that any aversion to semen you may have is only in your mind. Some young wives, and middle aged ones who have only very rarely performed fellatio for their husbands, will mentally freeze up at the time of ejaculation and then not want to experience or accept it, and will even – in some instances – at the last second refuse to do so and pull away. (Other wives may accept the ejaculation but will show visible dislike for doing so.) This is a very frustrating disappointment to her husband, especially so if they have both agreed at the start that he could freely ejaculate inside her mouth. (Ladies, when your husband is about to ejaculate, the simple fact is that he wants to, he greatly desires to ejaculate inside your warm, wet, sensuous mouth as it is so much more pleasurable to do so than if you remove his penis for him to ejaculate outside your mouth.) As we discuss below, there is no need for this discomfort and these mental obstacles can be overcome with a little effort.
Here is a comment from a young wife who apparently does have a mental block:
Comment by Amanda on June 11, 2011 12:31 pm
I am a newlywed and I have some concerns about swallowing the semen. well I’ll be honset I find it disgusting, but I want to satisfy my husband and try new things.. any advise to help me become comfortable with this?
We hope this addendum will help those wives with similar mental obstacles towards finishing the oral sex.
Wives, as you read through this appendix, please try to keep in mind that it is not unreasonable nor selfish of your husband to want to ejaculate inside your mouth. There are valid emotional and physical reasons for desiring this, and this desire is quite natural. Also, keep in mind you are making love to him by making love to his penis. As well, ladies, it is not unreasonable (or “extreme”) for him to desire (and even expect) that you swallow his semen. (This is, of course, after you have had the opportunity to gain some experience by performing oral sex several or many times.) This may at first seem unreasonable to you. However, when you share the intimacy of the act with your husband several times, or perhaps many times over a few months, you may see this in a different light. Your husband’s ejaculation is an intense experience for him, and a tangible display to you, for you, of his virility and sexual vigor. He is releasing his semen for you and through your efforts. Thus, he naturally expects that you, his wife, will want to accept it. (Be sure to read the last section below on why accepting the ejaculation is so important.) With total acceptance and freely swallowing the semen, you really bless and honor your husband. Ladies, this is one of the most loving, giving, playful, and special acts you can do for your husband in your loving sexual relationship.
Therefore, we strongly encourage wives to try swallowing several times!! Even if the thought of swallowing semen is unpleasant for you, try it. You will find that it is not as bad as you have been thinking it would be. (Obsessive fears are usually very exaggerated fears.) Work up to it, if need be. One, two, or three bad experience(s) do not mean you will always have difficulty doing so. As with any new activity, there is a “learning” curve. Refusing to at least try is a very poor choice to make for your loving marital sexual intimacy. (Further on below, you will read comments from wives married 20 or more years who are now swallowing regularly, and who regret that they did not try doing so many years sooner.)
Mrs J January 2013
If it makes you feel any better I just did this for the first time maybe 5 months ago. . . . . I never even considered swallowing for my husband. I thought I was incapable.
I was just as scared as you the 1st time…I don’t know if this is the best way, but I didn’t tell him I was planning on it.
While I was giving him a bj he told me he was getting close, so we could switch into another position for his finish….I told him to go ahead bc I wanted to swallow for him.
Happiest Husband Ever.
He talked about it for days after. I’ve done it several times since. I promise it’s not awful…I love that I can do this for him.
After you do it, you will think…that’s it? Why didn’t i do it sooner? I think we psych ourselves out so much…just do it 😉
∗∗∗∗ Tip: Have your husband signal you when he is close to ejaculating. Being ready makes it easier to accept. ∗∗∗∗
For the wives that think that semen is “gross” or “disgusting”, we have these 2 comments from experienced wives.
There was a time when I thought of semen as kind of icky, messy, and slightly unpleasant. The way it feels on my hands, for example, is unlike anything else. But my husband and I talk about EVERYTHING and we got to talking about it one day. I’d never told him I thought it was icky, it was just a thought in the back of my mind. I’ve always accepted him ejaculating in my mouth, for example. He told me that to him, as a man, the fact that I did that and didn’t act like it was a nasty thing made him feel like I fully accepted him and everything about him. . . . . When I realized how very personal it was and how good my acceptance made him feel, I completely lost any aversion to semen. It is him, and it is the product of his arousal and enjoyment. I love when he is aroused and I love when he cums.
Kathryn January 2013
I think you should work on changing your mindset. It’s not gross. . . . . This is your husband. Your partner, your rock, your defender. Your man. His cum is NOT gross. It is solid (liquid) proof of his desire for you, and it’s your hard-earned reward for giving him maximum pleasure like no-one else can. It’s yours; you’ve earned it. Don’t throw it away! Ask him to let you know when he’s going to cum. Then position him so he’ll be squirting behind your tongue so you don’t taste it. Seal your lips around his penis and suck/swallow like you’re drinking from a straw or a baby bottle. It’ll be down the hatch before you know it.
Many husbands have no hesitancy in pleasing their wives in this way. . . . .
and, wives frequently orgasm from receiving oral sex.
There are times that the wife experiences – and enjoys – multiple orgasms during passionate oral sex.
If your husband performs oral sex on you and takes you to the heights of sexual ecstasy, why can you not do the same for him?
You can, and also enjoy it for yourself as well.
From a woman, Svetlana Ivanova (excerpts here are from her blog and are used with her permission), we have this helpful and very insightful advice in the next several paragraphs (emphasis is ours):
Finish with him.
Don’t abandon your partner at the climax of the blow job by stopping stimulation, or worse, taking his penis out of your mouth. He may still have an orgasm, but it will not be as pleasurable as it could have been. When he begins to ejaculate, keep his penis in your mouth and keep sucking through his orgasm. This intensifies the sensations he feels and maintains your connection with him all the way to the end.
Make him feel good about himself.
Getting a blow job places a man in a vulnerable position, completely exposed. Even the most macho guy may wonder what you think about him . . . so sincere compliments can be reassuring. For example, complimenting your partner about the size, appearance, or hardness of his penis will help him relax as you begin. Afterward, saying something complimentary about how much he ejaculated or for how long, or how good he tasted will leave him feeling good about himself, the blow job, and you.
Pleasuring the penis is the point of a blow job, but pleasuring the person, too, makes it even better. A guy can’t fully enjoy the physical pleasure you’re giving to his penis if he is nervous or anxious. It’s not your fault that he’s nervous or anxious, but helping him relax and enjoy himself will make the blow job more fun for both of you.
Let him orgasm. (she adds more on this)
When you begin to hear quicker moans and his balls begin to tighten, you are bringing him close to orgasm. When he’s ready to orgasm, don’t slack off. Keep your movements consistent and firm. Once he starts ejaculating, keep sucking until he finishes. Then his penis will soften, and you will have a chance to lick up any semen you missed or that landed on his stomach.
If a man has to worry about ejaculating, feeling that it is an imposition on the woman or the cause of unpleasantness, it creates tension. He cannot fully relax or fully enjoy his climax. A woman who swallows puts her partner at ease and allows him to relax and enjoy one of the most intimate and pleasurable sex acts she can perform on him.
Men are proud of their ejaculations, so if your man delivered a huge load or spurted for a long time, be sure to mention it. It will make him feel good. Although giving blow jobs should be fun for women, their basic purpose is to pleasure men, so any little extras you can do, just make your blow jobs that much better.
end of Svetlana’s remarks
∗∗∗∗ Tip: Once you gain some experience and are more comfortable, try showing some enthusiasm when your husband cums (ejaculates) for you – that makes the experience more enjoyable for him. As well, concentrating on his pleasure means that you are less focused on any slight discomfort that you may experience during his climax. Getting into the moment with him (and for him), getting into the pleasure your husband feels while he is cumming makes it easier for you to keep up with him until he finishes. ∗∗∗∗
All this gives you much power over his pleasure and his reactions to what you are doing.
From an article, we have this relevant finding from a woman researcher (emphasis mine):
The participants’ emotional response to oral sex was also something that surprised her.
“Both intercourse and oral sex were associated with mostly positive emotions overall, which suggests that most young women are engaging in these activities because they enjoy them,” said Malacad. “Based on the results of my study, there is a percentage of women (just over 30 per cent) who feel powerful when performing fellatio. Apparently some women find it empowering and believe that it can wield a lot of power.”
∗∗∗∗ The main thing is to make your loving oral sex playful and pleasurable for your husband, and for yourself. You can make it fun – emotionally and physically – for both of you. (And, ladies, here is a tip: Attitude and enthusiasm are so much more important than technique when giving oral sex! Your husband wants you to enjoy the oral sex including accepting his ejaculation at the finish. Knowing that you are enjoying it gives him emotional pleasure – and removes any worry or tension on his part so he can relax and fully enjoy your actions. Being worry free, he knows that he can, when he is ready, ejaculate freely and fully – and you will be all right with it!! Husbands will tell you that when the wife is having fun and they know (in advance) that she is going to accept their ejaculation, that doubles (or more) the pleasure and excitement of the entire experience for them.)
The added bonus when you are both relaxed and both enjoying the experience is the shared emotional intimacy. Many wives find that when they enthusiastically accept the ejaculation inside their mouth at the climax of a playful and fun session of fellatio, they are sharing and experiencing mutual trust, complete acceptance, and mutual vulnerability with their husband. There is emotional arousal for both the wife and for her husband in this. This emotional arousal can be intense and is a mutual “turn-on”. (The wife enjoys giving pleasure and enjoys seeing her husband experiencing such intense pleasure and acceptance. The wife enjoys making herself vulnerable to her husband in this way as she trusts him. She knows that he, too, is vulnerable during his ejaculation. She totally accepts him at this time and welcomes his semen into her mouth. The husband is thrilled by knowing that his wife enjoys giving him this pleasure; and is excited by seeing that she enjoys the physical sensations that she experiences throughout her loving oral sex. He is vulnerable at the finish, but he trusts his wife to manage his ejaculation with tenderness, and to continue her stimulation during it. As well, he gives her warning and lets her control how deep she takes him in her mouth.) This entire experience is physically exciting and emotionally exciting for both spouses! It is a very loving act as well. Combining the growing anticipation, the emotional arousal, the shared intimacy, and the exciting physical sensations she experiences (that are more intense for her while her husband is ejaculating), it is not surprising that some wives will even orgasm themselves at the climax of their fellatio. ∗∗∗∗
Here is a recent comment from a newly wed, Christian wife that can be very helpful to young wives who have not yet tried giving oral sex to their husband, or who are having some difficulty enjoying the act. As Daisy indicates, mental attitude is so very important in enjoying the oral sex.
Daisy August 22, 2014 at 3:38 pm (excerpted from the comments to the Hot, Holy, Humorous’ essay: Still Nervous about Giving Him Oral? Yeah, I Get It. posted on May 19, 2014.)
I am a new bride of nearly 6 weeks after 33 years waiting for the right guy 🙂 and we were both virgins at marriage. I have always looked on oral in a positive light though somewhat nervous.. reading a lot on your blog, J, (and others) and all the comments too helped me feel more mentally ready for the unknown!! Esp for me, I feared being caught off guard by ejaculation in my mouth and gagging. Along the way, I picked up the tips of putting him in my mouth as far as comfortable and wrapping my hand around the lower half of his penis.. and when he let’s me know he is about to come, I push him up towards the roof of my mouth with my tongue (which is already pretty focused on the sensitive underside of him anyway) and I haven’t gagged yet! He was surprised I can swallow (actually “grosser” thought to him than I initially) Lol. If I feel gagged by him being back too far, I just pull him out and lick, kiss, (and swallow saliva) and tease him and then back in mouth again and he loves it all!! As a woman who can often over think things to death, I am thankful to let go and desire to bless and please my guy! I happen to find his manhood extremely attractive and LOVE feeling it in my hands and mouth!! I recently discovered licking all over his testicles and teasing with my tongue and I think he would HIGHLY recommend it based on his verbal exclamations and bodily reactions 😉 it is going in my “happy husband – use often” file! Thank you for your ministry to us women to prioritize and value the gift and closeness of loving our husbands and receiving love, sexually. It is a message we desperately need in our culture!!! And thanks for the tips that gave me the courage to “dive right in” 😉 asap!!!
In bringing your husband to climax, a little playful licking of his testes can be very stimulating for him.
Wives, please keep in mind that the sexual love the spouses share with each other is naturally giving. Sadly, among married Christians there is much confusion on this subject of sexual love, with some spouses suffering needlessly from unhealthy inhibitions and even feeling shame in the marriage bed. This is so unnecessary. Letting go of, or shedding these inhibitions and shame will open you to a deeper emotional intimacy with your spouse during your lovemaking.
Mutually fulfilling lovemaking is not the only necessary ingredient for a successful, lasting, happy marriage – but the reality is that it is one of the necessary ingredients! And, God intended that both spouses enjoy sexual fulfillment within their loving marriage. (If you doubt this, consider the sexual capacity (for arousal, desire and pleasure) in both the male and the female all throughout each month. As well, the emotions are also involved.)
Here is an insightful comment from a Christian wife that really covers the issue well – definitely worth thinking about!
Rochelle says: June 18th, 2014 at 3:20 pm (excerpted from the comments to the essay: Pulling Back the Sheets: Genuine Dialogue Among Christians about Oral Sex posted on http://intimacyinmarriage.com/ on Sept. 9, 2010)
Good for you, Wanda! You are not a freak! And good for all you Christian ladies (and men) who have discovered how good oral sex can be in the Christian bedroom. Sex means nothing to non-Christians – like shaking hands to most people. Non-Christians feel free to explore all types of sex. So why should Christians hold back? We’re the ones sex was created for! Christian couples should do whatever they can to satisfy their spouses – that is biblical! No one should be longing for something they aren’t getting. That leads to lust and sin, cheating and divorce. I love my husband and never want him to desire anyone else or anything other than what I give him. He doesn’t need to fantasize because I fill his fantasies. Oral sex is only one of the things I do for him. And doing it makes me feel good sexually and spiritually because I am satisfying his needs as God intended. I do it regularly but especially during my period when regular sex isn’t possible. Not doing this would be like me telling him I don’t love enough to do it. And that includes taking him all the way to satisfaction. You all know what I mean.
Wanda says: April 8th, 2014 at 1:24 pm
Hi-I’m a Christian woman married to a Christian man for 34 years (we are in our mid fifties). I personally believe that there are very few restrictions in “the marriage bed”. Actually, I enjoy oral sex with my husband….I feel like it just shows him how much in love with him I am. And I guess if your considered a freak for engaging in it 2 or 3 times a year….I must be a super freak. Haha. It’s more like 2 or 3 times “a week” or more. I would challenge anybody to research what God says about marital sex in the bible and there is also a wealth of information on other Christian sights as well. When God gave us “sex” He did a wonderful thing.
Here we include a sampling of comments from wives – who responded favorably to one (Christian marriage blog) survey on oral sex – about accepting the ejaculation and swallowing.
I love it! And I know he loves it more!
He really enjoys being able to come in my mouth. The sensations that I can give him while he’s ejaculating are intense and unique.
It is exciting for both of us and makes me feel closer to him.
Less of a mess. makes it whole and complete in my mind…sharing something beautiful with my husband.
I really struggle with the thrusting, which tends to gag me. However, if I can manage that, I love, love, love knowing that I’ve been able to do that for him. He has said that it is the most intimate sexual experience for him and makes him feel loved like nothing else does.
It has taken yrs For me to. I just hated the taste & I use to spit it out! Now I love how it pleases him!
A comment now from a wife who did not care for accepting the semen and swallowing. She may learn to like doing so with more experience.
I have in the past and probably would in the future but I didn’t like it that much. My husband prefers to ejaculate inside me and the oral sex is more part of our foreplay.
Now, from a different marriage blog, here are 2 comments from middle aged wives who finally over came their fears.
Comment by Tommygirl on September 20, 2010 12:31 pm
you know what they say about your fears…you can’t get passed them until you face them. Share with your husband that you are trying, ask him to maybe signal you clearly so it won’t take you by surprise and then be the little engine that could. “I think I can I thin I can I think I can.”
I have been married 20 years and didn’t start swallowing until about 4 months ago. I can’t tell you what it means to my husband to have me do this for him and I now find it a huge turn on as well. I wish I had been doing it all along but I had a mental block. Now I can’t wait to pleasure him in this way.
Best of Luck!
Comment by satisfiedwife on September 21, 2010 6:39 pm
In our 28 years of marriage,I started swallowing my H’s love juice…lol… just at the beginning of this year, when I found this site. I read all the articles on here and decided to give it a try, I had performed oral on my H many times before, but had never dared to swallow…since the first try this year, now I always do swallow and I absolutely enjoy giving him oral n swallowing so much that at times I just tell him I want to give him a blow job and I don’t need him to pleasure me to orgasm, because giving him that pleasure brings me so much pleasure…all it took for me was changing my mindset and giving it a try. Wished I would of learned and changed my way of thinking many years before…but for now,… I am happy to enjoy my H in ways I would of never imagined in all our married life.
Here is a beautiful comment from a wife of many years (from another blog). She acknowledges her husband’s needs.
LD says: May 20, 2013 at 8:53 am
My husband REALLY loves your blog. After 24 years of marriage, I finally “finished the job” Saturday night. 🙂 I have recently gone down on him more often and realized that it was not so bad…I also realized that I was being selfish and not honoring his needs/desires. After reading your first post about “oral blessings” it gave me the information I guess I was needing and gave me the confidence to do it. I too, have a bad gag reflex and I didn’t want to offend him by not swallowing or even allow him to come in my mouth because I didn’t know how I would react. I felt so much closer to him and he obviously felt closer to me after he was finished. Thank you so much for opening yourself up enough to discuss this. It made a difference in our lives. Just knowing someone else out there has struggles gave me the confidence and courage to do it. Thanks again
Here is a comment from a middle aged man that speaks of a woman finally accepting the finish in her mouth.
Charles Anderson says: October 29, 2012 at 9:36 am
. . . . Now I am with a woman who (at age 49) had never sucked to completion when we met. She wanted to include that in our reportoire so read a couple of books on fellatio, talked to some of her friends about how to avoid gagging, and began by licking cum off my shaft after intercourse. Deciding the taste was not as bad as she had always thought it would going to be, she finally let me come in her mouth. Afterward, she said, “I cannot believe how much I enjoyed that! I came when you did.” It does not happen every time for her, but often she gets as much out of the completion as I do.
Young wives and middle aged wives can and do enjoy the emotional intimacy and the sensations of giving oral sex including swallowing their husband’s semen.
Here are 2 very insightful and relevant comments.
Anonymous March 27, 2012 at 12:41 am (excerpted from the comments to the Hot, Holy, Humorous essay linked to above)
After reading this newly found thread, I thought about it and the more I read the more I felt aroused. My hubby was busy working and by the time he sat down to rest I thought, “why not?” So I coaxed him into the bedroom with precious alone time and proceeded to have my way with him. After starting out slowly and rediscovering each other, I went down on him. It was awesome knowing that I had the capacity to please my husband in such a way. As things heated up, he got anxious and tried to pull out (our usual route) but I thought again, let me help him and I left his penis inside my mouth as he climaxed. It was amazing for me to do this for him. It has reawakened much for me, as this was a big step to do for him, I’d always believed. I drank some juice and we sat and talked during this lovely session of afternoon delight! He always seems to open up and talk more after this. I thank God for my husband and for all of the things he does for me and the family. The way I feel is that this is the least I can do for him to make him feel better, more virile and more confident as a man. I am anxious for my next session with him and he will be pleased that I am doing my ‘homework’ I believe. Thank you so much for your blog!
Sharon Lee says: May 22, 2011 at 4:13 am
I think it is the ultimate act of trust & acceptance & I couldnt imagine being in a commited relationship where this wasnt the normal thing to do. Sex & all its acts are a journey of discovery for couples, it brings intimacy like nothing else will, as long as it done with the true meaning of love attached. I think it is truly a beautiful thing to do together. It says I truly love you, like words cannot.
Now, we will present some comments from men about why they like when the woman accepts the ejaculation in her mouth and they can ejaculate in her mouth. There are 2 components here: her acceptance and his being able to freely pump away. As well, there is a physical and a visual aspect. (As to the “dominance” thing, I think that the emotional component of her acceptance is more important to most men. There are a few comments from women (below, at various points throughout this addendum) that touch on this “need” in men to feel dominant, and to be made to feel like men.)
some of the reasons why men like swallowing (in response to a young woman’s query on a forum)
Here is the question from 2006:
Jen8 (age: 18 to 24) MEN. Why do you like us to swallow?
Hi guys. Could a man please explain to me what is it exactly that you feel whan you ejaculate in a woman’s mouth, and why you like it when she swallows? . . . .
I said that I found it degrading – it’s like male domination over a woman, and he says that I’m backwards . . . .
I’ve addressed it to men, as they can give me a better reply, but by all means girls, feel free to help me out.
Dynamicdad (age: 36 to 45) (from 2006)
1. They think it is an expression of love – like, what can you do for me? In the extreme – can you do something even if you don’t like, when it is harmless?
2. It gives them an emotional high – you should not see this as an emotional degradation of you. This is not a relative position, if one is high the other is low. It can be high-high for both, or just a high for the man – an absolute without any change in the woman’s status.
3. It is more a visual pleasure than a physical one.
4. If one really cares for the other but does not like to do it (swallowing), a good alternative is to take in a facial by timing the ejaculation right.
MrOracle Master (36 to 45) (2006)
1. . . . .It’s a dominant act, and many men enjoy being dominant, and many women enjoy being submissive, sexually. 2. It’s a bit more extreme/advanced, which implies a higher level of sexual openness or trust. 3. It’s one of a couple of ways that a girl can show her “ultimate acceptance” of her man. . . . . It’s an ego boost, and for many guys, it enhances his feeling of closeness to her. 4. If done open-mouth, it’s a very arousing visual. 5. If done closed-mouth, and she’s sucking as he cums, the suction feels incredible. . . . .
Meedo 9 (36 to 45) (2006)
. . . . and I want it inside her in some way or the other. . . . . I also enjoyed to see the throbbing / pulsation as it delivers gushes into her mouth. And of course the dominance part. . . . .
anonymous male (18 to 24) (2006)
It’s really my instinct to make sure she gets my sperm inside her somehow. . . . . When I feel myself orgasm and ejaculate inside her it makes me feel extra excited knowing all my sperm is squirting inside her at that moment. If she takes my sperm it makes me feel loved and accepted and desired by her.
I can see all these reasons being in play for the man. The three factors that seem to come up again and again for guys are the acceptance/trust/love they feel, the visual pleasure or arousal, and the intense physical pleasure he feels when he ejaculates while the woman continues to provide stimulation to his penis. (The visual pleasure is enhanced for the husband if his wife is nude or is in lingerie.)
Here is a comment from a wife that is helpful. Ladies, please do not over think this dominance and submission perspective to fellatio. When you give your husband oral sex, it is a loving and giving act. It also congruent with your naturally feminine nature. Fellatio in no way diminishes you, but rather demonstrates (and reinforces) your sexual confidence in the bedroom! Your sexual confidence is a major turn-on for your husband. As well, you have much power over his pleasure during fellatio. You are in control, and that, too, is psychologically and emotionally thrilling for your husband. Many wives enjoy this power they feel during fellatio. It is interesting that in fellatio both the husband and the wife can feel powerful, but also both can feel vulnerable.
Ami February 2013
Until I started reading about being more submissive which led me to reading about how to give better bj’s I had no idea bj’s were so big to a guy. Really I had no idea. Then when I asked my husband to be totally in charge of sex the idea was furthur cemented with him asking for only bj’s for about 2 months or so before I lost my enthusiasm. But now I GET it. I really don’t think most women get how huge they are for a guy and most women really do not understand why men like them so much. I had to read in an article that they make men feel accepted, loved and that giving them is one of the biggest forms of submission. H has never told me any of those things even though I rarely gave them before all my reading and apparently he could live exclusively on them.
That was a really long winded way of saying try to express to her what they mean to you.
Good advice for husbands. Ami may be referring to the article by Renee W. on why men like blow jobs (linked to above in main essay). And, we think Ami is correct in thinking that many women do not fully understand or appreciate how important to men fellatio is.
Let’s stick with this for a bit with some more related comments.
Lainey says: July 21, 2011 at 5:05 pm
So, yep, hubster would like to cum in my mouth, but he said it was never a hill to die on. I’m definitely going to try it next time.
Celeste says: July 23, 2011 at 12:38 am
One thing never mentioned…why is it that guys like blowjobs so much? My husband likes it as a warm-up, but says there’s no better thing than being deep in a nice warm vagina. Is it just the variety of it, or is it the actual physical sensation?
Athol Kay says: July 23, 2011 at 2:15 am
Celeste – it’s a quite different sensation for me at least, plus I like the feeling of dominance when she’s going down on me. Which naturally is odd in that I don’t feel submissive when I go down on her. I have no explaination for that lol.
It’s also nice in that the woman is being sexually active in giving a blowjob rather than just lying there/being passive during intercourse. (Which doesn’t always happen, but can)
So lots of reasons why men like it – we just hate having our orgasm utterly ruined by her decision to botch it at the end. Either follow through with sucking, or switch early enough to primarily hands. Don’t feel us starting to come and let go of our cock as you dive for cover. That pisses us off big time.
Celeste says: July 23, 2011 at 12:31 pm
Makes sense. I can see why it would be a total buzz kill to stop at the end. It’s like losing it at the very end of the race and not being able to sprint to the finish…maybe.
Athol Kay says: July 23, 2011 at 8:59 pm
Orgasm and ejaculation aren’t the same thing for men. They are usually very closely related, but there comes a point of no return where the man will ejaculate no matter what and orgasm assists the ejaculation. But if the stimulation stops right on the point of no return, the man has an ejaculation and no orgasm. The semen doesn’t shoot out, it just kind of oozes messily.
Then he’s all done for sex for that session.
This is true as we discuss in the last section (below) near the bottom. Orgasm and ejaculation are related but are not the same thing. As discussed below (and in our marriage series, part 3, see link above), orgasm normally precedes ejaculation and helps the ejaculation along.
Now, for some other comments from wives.
ashley says: April 11, 2012 at 2:23 pm
I could not agree with you more. I love performing oral sex on my husband. I love his physical responses, I love how helpless the pleasure makes him (yeah, let’s turn that power play idea on its head), most of all I love that the whole experience gets me off like a rocket.
Robyn Gibson on November 27, 2013 at 5:41 pm
In general, I get the ‘feel’ from the comments that most husbands want their wives to swallow, but will “settle” for at least getting oral. When I say “settle” what I mean is, if their wives said, ‘yes’ they would swallow (and not as a chore, but genuinely wanting to) then, the men that said it doesn’t matter would, in fact, change their view from a ‘take it or leave it’ to a full ‘yes.’
We think Robyn’s assertion is true for most husbands. Husbands do want their wives to enjoy the act – and if the wife swallows, the husband wants for it to be because she enjoys it and it not be “a chore” for her to do.
Now, let us present a comment from a man whose wife has been very reluctant to let him finish in her mouth. This couple seems to be making progress.
Robertson says: August 9, 2011 at 2:24 am
Hi Athol. I was one of the questioners in the thread that led up to this and I told you I’d get back to you and tell you how things went. First off, I didn’t actually talk to her about it. But what I’ve been doing is being more assertive about asking for bjs, and indeed I’ve been getting more. I did take the other part of your advice in that I tell her when ignition is forthcoming (pun intended) and just not pulling out but letting her handle things. I told you I made that mistake early on in our relationship asking if I should come in her mouth or not…big mistake I’m trying now to correct.
Well, what’s happening is that she’s still pulling it out, but it appears later and later. In fact, the last time, I did come in her mouth, and she pulled it out but laughingly said, “I got a mouthful.”
This ties in to something in the book and on this blog … the whole issue of submissiveness. I’ve been able to see more clearly that she does respond to me being more dominant, and in fact I’ve been wondering if she’s up to being more submissive, including letting me finish in her mouth, but really feels uncomfortable sharing that with me. She doesn’t talk very much about what she likes but she will move my hand or let me know if she really is not liking something. So my thought has been to just push the envelope a bit more, see how it goes, but also not surprising her with the come.
A gradual approach works for many wives. Communication, open and honest, can help. A little playful role play does not hurt.
This next comment speaks to the importance of mental attitudes and these can be changed through experiences.
Jenny May 20, 2014 at 10:06 am (excerpted from the comments to the Hot, Holy, Humorous’ essay: Still Nervous about Giving Him Oral? Yeah, I Get It. posted on May 19, 2014.)
Ok, The first time I gave oral to my husband it was a bit of me feeling guilty so I did it. I was uncertain and didn’t really like the thought of it. In the end, it wasn’t that bad. I kept doing it and it has come to a point I love doing it! It turns me on, and I look forward to making my husband come. By the way I like swallowing it usually tastes good (what he eats influences taste) and less clean up if I swallow. 🙂
The change came in how I look at it. Giving oral gets him hard and he loves it and I love him and pleasing him and that gets me going. I would urge any wife to go for it.
Missy May 22, 2014 at 12:57 pm (excerpted from the comments to the Hot, Holy, Humorous’ essay: Still Nervous about Giving Him Oral? Yeah, I Get It. posted on May 19, 2014.)
My H thinks I’m the BJ Queen! But in reality, I didn’t have a clue what I was doing (we’re married less than a year, but in a second marriage). The turn on, for me, is seeing how much he enjoys it. Truthfully, sometimes I like it because there is no pressure to O myself, and I’m okay with that from time to time.
My H gives me notice when he is about to climax. Sometimes I’m in the moment enough that swallowing isn’t something I think about – it just happens. Other times, I gently spit and wipe away the semen with a towel (We keep several near the bed). Often, just as he’s about to come, I remove my mouth and continue with my hand…my man only likes the head in my mouth, so my hands are already there for additional stimulation.
I have found there to be nothing unpleasant about a clean penis between my lips, so knowing when he’s about to ejaculate helps if I don’t want semen in my mouth. Perhaps just try it till he is close, then switch. Best of luck!
Comment by hisbabe on September 15, 2010 4:52 pm
i didn’t use to swallow, but one night i was tired and didn’t want to deal with the clean-up so i swallowed it. he was so touched and felt so loved and accepted that i’ve never gone back. if i had known that it would affect him in such a profound way i would have swallowed from the beginning!
Here is a comment from another blog article on oral sex:
Jen Reply February 28, 2014
Truly insightful. I like to give it to my man because I know he enjoys it and I enjoy doing it to him too. I don’t feel any obligation to do it to him nor does he oblige me to do it. We don’t see each other as often as it is (well, might take many months to a year before we do) so when we finally do get to see each other again it often feels like a celebration for both of us. The deeper our intimacy, the deeper is our connection to each other. I don’t feel any inhibition in doing it to him. It feels natural and I take pleasure in seeing how much he loves it. And his being grateful afterwards doesn’t hurt either. 🙂
And, another comment.
Last night I was giving my SO a bj, after he asked why I always swallow his cum.
I told him I love him, and his cum. What can I say I like the way he taste. I have always enjoyed giving him head, and taking his cum. We have been together for over 15 years, and I still do it 3-4 time a week.
Please be aware that some wives have prayed for guidance when struggling with the idea and/or the act of performing oral sex and swallowing their husband’s semen. These wives, after their first several sessions of oral sex, really did not enjoy the swallowing, and did not look forward to doing it in the future. (Note: They had, on several occasions, received the ejaculation and then swallowed the semen, but did not enjoy it.) After some prayer and some reflection, these wives again approached and performed their loving oral sex. Now, with a more positive and giving attitude, consciously focusing on the pleasure they were giving their husband, they found receiving and then swallowing the semen became easier and, in time. even enjoyable for them. Then, they no longer avoided or dreaded performing oral sex for their husband, but rather enjoyed doing this for him, and wanted to do it. A change in mental attitude or outlook made a big difference for these wives! You may want to pray and reflect about this if you are still having any anxieties or reservations about giving oral sex and/or swallowing for your husband.
Here are a few related comments from Christian wives.
I did not always enjoy giving oral, and I especially did not like swallowing. However, I seem to be having a sexual awakening and now I love them both.
Jade Comment by Jade on July 16, 2011 11:40 pm
I was the same way for a very long time. I gave oral and didn’t really enjoy it much, expecially swallowing. But now I’ve taken a different approach that i think might help you. trying praying just before giving oral. pray for God to open your heart and mind to this experince. ask God to free yourself of thoughts of apprehention. this has helped me greatly and has changed my entire outlook on OS with my hubby!
I am right there with you girl I never myself liked to swallow either but since my awakening so to speak I have done it several times and he absolutely loves it! I totally do it for him and I really dont mind because it is such a huge turn on for him!!!!
It’s a different but great feeling. Something about the anticipation, texture, warmth and, for me anyway, the taste. It’s a very intimate moment if you don’t let yourself get hung up mentally.
Hi fellow Christians, semen to me tastes really good, its like coconut juice every time, except when he is unwell and drinks too much tea and honey, its changed and gave a little sweet honey aftertaste… anyways, just want to thank everyone for contributing to this website
Here are comments from a young wife with a positive attitude and a willingness to try it.
Thank you all for your advice… I am excited, but also nervous I do have a sensitive gag reflex and I don’t know how I feel about swallowing, but I am sure this will all come together and work out fine. The posts have been extremely helpful! Can’t wait to give this a whirl.
a follow-up comment by her:
Postby GodsGirl07 » Thu Apr 02, 2009 5:00 pm
Well thanks… I just wanna surprise him and do something really special for him and for us. ::luv2 I just don’t wanna mess it up…. I kinda want an idea of what I “should” be doing, I don’t wanna go into this blind if ya know what I mean. With God’s help our relationship will get better 😀
Here is a comment from a woman on accepting the ejaculation that may be helpful.
Stephenie Rowling says: July 20, 2011 at 7:49 pm
“And, if you married a really Religious woman, you didn’t get the memo about what you’re getting into? If you didn’t and she’s just not willing to go that way, then there’s a reason. Have you asked her that reason?”
Mmm what has this do with it? I have deeply evangelical friends discussing the marriage and all of them do blowjobs, 50/50 in swallowing though. Is the “all sperm is sacred” being taken too literally here?
This next comment is from a husband.
gerry says: December 14, 2012 at 12:40 pm
I’ve been married to a wonderful sexy woman for 13yrs now. And in all that time, I wanted a bj, but she was raised very religiously. In the beggining, she would give me a bj, but finish off with a towel wrap around my member. As time went on, she would blow me, then pull away and let the cum land . . . . wherever. She said she found the texture to be like mucous. In all this time, I have been begging her to let me cum in her mouth. I explained what happens everytime she does’nt suck to completion. How much of a let down it is for a guy. On the first Monday of this december (2012) she was blowing me. I told her I was gonna cum, and she just continued. Well let me tell you, that was the best bj I ever had in my life. She is the first to ever have taken a load from me in the mouth. She said it’s not as badd as she thought it would be. Now she’s excited to give me another one. . . . . Her decision to accept my loads after all these yrs, has shown me how she has grown and matured. . . . . I love her much more deeply now than o ever thought I could. Also ladies..it’s your husband and not a complete stranger. Show him how much you love him with this onething, and I promise you, he’ll love and apprecia8 you more than you could imagine.
Here are some comments from a non-Christian blog that encourages committed relationships. Many women reject the preconceived idea or prejudice that tells them that oral sex within a committed relationship is somehow degrading to them.
Kat Reply September 1, 2014
. . . . I just love the feeling of kneeling down in front of him, and him asserting himself over me, and just showing him how much I love him and seeing him derive so much pleasure from it. You can see him becoming stronger and more assertive and masculine and I just love him more for the man he is and am showing him this, honestly, and there’s so much pride and pleasure for me in seeing just how happy and confident and ecstatic my simply acting honestly and genuinely from my affection for him makes him feel. It’s like he’s showing appreciation for who I am and how much I care and my feminine energy and my genuine self in how much pleasure and empowerment he derives from it and it makes me feel good and empowered myself. Like he’s accepting me for who I am and I’m accepting him for who he is.
As others have said: men usually enjoy ejaculating in a woman’s mouth because it makes them feel more powerful and more in control. But, more than that, it makes them feel a deep connection.
Summer Reply August 6, 2014
See, I’d have to agree 100% with this article. A man needs to be made to feel like a man. Not saying there aren’t other ways for a man to feel like a man, but, men DO need sex in general to feel loved. . . . . Men do indeed love seeing their manhood in their woman’s mouth. Any man who says he doesn’t, is lying.
Cassandan Reply July 10, 2014
I completely agree with this article. . . . . I think what she conveys is how women can maximize their feminine energy and be powerful in their own right. . . . . The act of giving a blow job may make the woman seem weak to the third-party but there is pleasure seeing your man throughly enjoying what you give him. In fact for me, it’s such a turn on! And especially when he says “I am going to come” is the hottest thing ever!
As noted above in the main essay, ladies, there is no risk to you in swallowing your husband’s semen (provided he is free of sexually transmitted infections (STIs and HPV)). So, obviously there is no possible harm when you freely accept his ejaculation inside your mouth prior to swallowing. (Semen contains water, enzymes, sugars, vitamins, minerals, sperm cells (≈), etc. The sperm content is only about 1 percent or less. The pre-ejaculate fluid is similarly harmless. You can do an Internet search on semen and you will find various articles (some written by doctors – both male and female) that tell us that far from being harmful, it is quite healthy for a woman to consume her husband’s semen if he is free of STIs. For what is in semen, see this article by a woman doctor.) With this in mind, you can let go of your needless hesitation and enjoy the moment. Get used to having semen in your mouth for a very short time during his ejaculation. (The “because he’s worth it” essay linked to above addresses taste/texture concerns, and what you can easily do to lessen these concerns (read the essay and the comments to it).) Many women do – with experience – “acquire” a taste for their husband’s semen (also widely known and called now by the slang term “cum”). Many say that there is not much of a taste to notice, the semen being almost “tasteless”. Others remark that the taste varies from “salty” to “musky” to “mildly sweet” or “tangy”. According to some women, adding a little cinnamon (and/or green tea) to his daily diet can help improve the semen taste. Many wives suggest a healthy diet with lots of fruit and/or fruit juices for the husband. This, they say, helps to improve the taste and gives the cum that full white (healthy) color. (As well, a healthy diet can also help your husband to produce more semen naturally. I would suggest the possibility of having him drink a quality ginseng tea, one cup per day. I have personally found that this does help my body to produce more semen; and as I already eat a healthy diet, it does not alter the taste significantly.) Regarding texture, have your husband drink enough water and fruit juices. Being sufficiently hydrated can help to thin and give a smoother consistency to his cum. For many wives, the texture is not an issue. The point here is that concerns about taste and texture do not in any way justify refusing your husband this pleasure, and denying both you and him this intimacy!
Julie (Seville, Ohio)
I acquired a love for the taste. It is good for you!!!
Comment by SweetGirl4Him on March 4, 2011 7:24 pm
I agree that the taste becomes agreeable more so mentally. It thrills me do to this to and for my husband. I had a positive attitude coming into marriage about it because he had told me how much he’d like for it to be a large part of our sex life. So I prepared mentally as you mentioned. Good advice for others!
Here is a question from an anonymous wife on another site.
I want to swallow my husband’s cum but don’t like the taste. My husband wants me to enjoy swallowing his cum but I just don’t like the taste of it. Is there anything I can do to make it more enjoyable for me? I want to satisfy him but I just can’t get past the taste of it. It makes me gag every time I try. Any advice you can give me would be great.
This wife wants to please her husband, and is willing to try swallowing, but needs some help. Taste is the obstacle for her. (Note that her husband wants her to enjoy swallowing the cum. This is true for most husbands. When the wife enjoys accepting the ejaculation and then enjoys swallowing, it adds so much to the experience for her husband, and for herself.) She can learn to deep throat to avoid the taste, or follow the below suggestions from wives.
Here is another woman with concerns.
Sexy Angel September 2014
And hw fun is it? hw does it taste? i only suck him but have never swallowed the sperm and he has been angry about it. so pls what do i do?
Her man ought not be getting angry over it. But, since she is asking “how does it taste?”, it is clear that the man desires that she accept the ejaculation inside her mouth, and she has not yet tried doing this. It becomes fun for the wife once she has gained the confidence that comes through experience. As to the taste, every woman is different. So, she should simply try it for herself a few times.
Tip: If the semen taste is difficult for you to experience, be aware that kneeling in front of your husband, or sitting on a chair or cushion, can also help to better align your throat with his penis than in other positions. This helps to avoid much of the semen taste during ejaculation as the semen will more easily and quickly go into (and down) your throat. Many women find it easier to swallow from this position.
Here is some practical advice from several experienced wives, and one unmarried woman. They concur that diet can and does affect the taste of semen.
Comment by 2jewels on August 6, 2008 12:42 pm
One thing that stops many women from enjoying the act of giving your husband oral sex is the taste! One way to combat that is to encourage your husband to lessen his caffine intake and drink plenty of juice (mine uses pineapple). He will more than likely comply because his sacrifice is outwieghed by the pleasure. It is worth the try for you to have fun!
Another thing to try instead of him pulling out to cum, is to put your toung at the back of your mouth. This way you are not “gagged” by him or the cum.
Making this act ALL about his pleasure makes it a ton of fun for you too.
Robyn Gibson on November 20, 2013 at 4:11 pm
Great post! . . . A diet high in fruit matters. Apples, kiwi and melons, although this could be just my preference; I believe different women have different likes. But the wives I talk to agree that junk food and preservatives make semen not sweet (and pleasant) but nasty.
Robyn’s comment alludes to a consensus among wives about the relationship between diet and semen taste. Further down in this essay, we share several comments from wives that seem to show another consensus among wives – that when the taste of the semen is pleasant, they enjoy and even “love” its taste. As well, it is not surprising that the wives who enjoy the taste also usually enjoy swallowing the semen. And, many wives will say that they acquired a taste for the cum over time. Thus, do not let any initial “bad” taste experiences stop you from accepting the semen in the future. For some wives, the taste is not the challenge but gagging during the ejaculation is (due to the force of the spurts and/or how deep his penis is in her mouth). We include a few comments (further below) from wives that speak to the importance of controlling how much of the penis is in the mouth.
Linanati August 2012
Unless he’s had coffee or something nasty like that, cum tastes sweet. Very nice, actually. I don’t see any problem with swallowing it. I’ve got my husband drinking pineapple juice now, so we’ll see what that does to the taste of his cum.
LyndaSoo says: May 3, 2009 at 3:50 pm
I have never minded the taste, and really like the idea of completely pleasing my husband – the only trouble I run into from time to time, is that it’s much chunkier at certain times,….when it’s too thick it will make me gag. Any tips on keeping him ” Fluid”????
Drinking more water throughout the day can help this; and if it has been a few days since he has ejaculated, then have intercourse several hours prior or the night before you give him oral sex.
I swallow, its like a treat to hubby!
My tip, when you know he is about to cum, keep the tip on the roof of your mouth so no semen really gets on your tongue till he withdrawer’s, then swallow, you dont get so much of a taste.
liz c August 17, 2013
I swallow every time. And can confirm that what he eats or drinks does make a difference to the taste of his sperm.
Comment by Weave on January 23, 2011 4:44 pm
To the lady whose hubby has an unpleasant smell: try putting celery in his food and get him to drink green tea to deodorize his semen and give it a mild taste.
Me and my husband have done some experimentation over the years and have come to the following conclusion: what you guys eat really does affect the taste of your cum. Some food that makes your cum taste bad: caffeine, beef, milk, asparagus, broccoli, spinach. Some food that makes your cum taste good: pineapple, apples, celery. Caffeine is the absolute worst by far in my opinion. Everyone always says pineapple makes cum taste good and it turns out to be the real deal. I feed him just one small can of pineapple chunks a day and it makes his cum taste great. Of course, I make sure he also avoids all the stuff on the bad list.
Amber says: December 6, 2013 at 2:04 pm
I tried the altoid thing. he absolutely loved it, and I didn’t taste a thing. I’m just starting out, and I hated the taste my first time, but I’d always been told to swallow, so I did. he definately appreciated the swallowing, but I was nervous every other time because of the taste. this helped so much. thank you.
Catalina Ramirez says: April 27, 2008 at 8:37 am
Nothing makes my husband happier during sex than me *wanting* him to cum in my mouth and swallow it. It’s such a little thing, really. Even if I didn’t enjoy it, I think I would still do it – it’s literally a 10 second deal. The benefits are so worth it.
A female reader, Emmajane, United Kingdom writes (14 January 2009):
Personally I very much enjoy it, and prefer to swallow. Men should avoid asparagus which probably is the worst for making it taste bad. Some people have mentioned eating fruit and yes that seems to work.
. . . . I’m sure many girls have a misconception about semen and that prejudices them from the start.
For the wife during pregnancy, oral sex is still safe and there is no need for concern.
posted 05/26/2008 by mdandmomtobe
. . . . Seriously… oral sex with my husband is something I enjoy. There are those who do not… but for me and those who like all forms of fun with our husbands… go ahead and relax. Your baby is very protected! The baby is not drinking semen, ladies. All the nutrients that go to the baby, go through the umbilical cord, filtered beautifully by the placenta. So enjoy a little high-protein drink if you want! And beware of personifying sperm. You may start having bad dreams when you start thinking about all the ones that don’t make it. It’s FINE to swallow. Sperm contains a lot of protein, and your stomach acid will dissolve the sperm anyways. Do not listen to what these other blogs say. Its perfectly safe. The only thing you may have to worry about is potential sickness afterwards, even if you didn’t have it ever before after swallowing. Ladies, as an OB, I am telling you its OK.
This next comment speaks to the mental aspect of the act for the wife, and tells us that a loving wife can perform oral sex with a positive mindset, and thus enjoy the act.
I can’t say that I like the taste of my husband’s semen, but I don’t mind it either. I do however think that it’s the mental aspect of performing oral sex that is a turn on for me. I enjoy the thought the only thing that can produce semen is an orgasm. A man just can’t say, gee, I think I’ll ejaculate now.
To me its the fact that I’ve pleasured him so well that I’ve created this orgasm which in turn produces his semen. I don’t think of it as something gross or dirty or even think about its taste so much as what it represents.
I’ve read people’s description of what semen tastes like to them, but I guess the thing that I can compare it to is that it taste like sex, if that makes sense.
I think what I like about giving oral sex is the knowledge that his orgasm is so close to me by being right in my mouth. I can feel his penis contract and pump the semen with my lips and mouth. For some reason, knowing that he can’t control ejaculation is sexy to me. To me, its a very loving and sharing experience so much so that it diminishes a great deal the taste. I don’t mind the texture either, its kind of sexy, like sex should be.
One might venture to say that when the loving wife shares and participates in his ejaculation and freely accepts and swallows her husband’s ejaculate, it is an example of the complementarity of her feminine nature and her husband’s masculine nature.
We share here a comment from a young woman about her first experience with performing oral sex. In this appendix, we include a few comments from unmarried yet experienced women as these may be helpful to newly married women in gaining some confidence to try oral sex for their husband. We are not advocating for sex outside of marriage as we believe that sexual intimacy (for several reasons) is best saved for marriage.
A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008):
I gave head for the first time this evening and not only was it enjoyable for him (clearly) but i also really enjoyed myself. I thought his semen tasted really nice to be honest but he does have a good diet and drinks tonsssss of water 🙂
Nonmember comment from Misty July 13, 2011 at 5:36 PM
It all depends on my mind, between spitting and swallowing. I do like the facials I have noticed a difference in my skin. And watermelon really does make it taste sweet.
victoria March 1, 2013 at 7:55 PM
I massage it in before going to sleep. It has really been great for my skin! My bf has a very healthy diet and as any girl with a little experience knows this makes a big difference in how clean and white it is. When I wake up it’s gone but my skin feels tight and full of moisture, and doesn’t break out any more.
Yes, an overall healthy diet and healthy lifestyle (with some regular and vigorous exercise) have many benefits. Recalling Robyn’s comment above, eating healthy (with more fruit) and avoiding the junk food do make the semen better tasting, and thus pleasant. As Victoria observes, these also make the ejaculate more visually appealing and more vibrant in appearance. Semen should be a solid white in color. (Women notice this. Guys notice this, too.) And, with sufficient hydration, the ejaculate has a smoother consistency that is not too thick. The healthy lifestyle of the man makes the taste, scent, texture (consistency), and the look of the semen more pleasant and more appealing for the woman. Thus, she enjoys receiving it. (The healthy diet and vigorous exercise also help the body to make its own hormones (testosterone) naturally, and this allows the man’s body to produce more semen.)
Angie August 12, 2013 at 5:20 AM
I always knew the wonders of semen on your skin but never knew of how good it can be if swallowed. To spit or to swallow? I SAY SWALLOW! 😉
Sharon • June 27, 2014
YUM! its pretty great to know that there are good things that come out of this. (no pun intended)
As well, do not stress on those occasions when your husband experiences a very strong and lengthy ejaculation, and produces more semen. With experience and some confidence, you can manage that. This means your loving oral sex was very gratifying to him. And, yes, there will be times when you do receive a larger volume of semen, and/or experience more forceful pulses inside your mouth from your husband. Younger husbands, in their 20s and 30s, normally produce more semen than middle aged husbands, and thus can be quite the copious ejaculators (with more pulses and more semen). Thus, young wives with young husbands sometimes face the challenge of accepting very voluminous ejaculations! This is normal and healthy, but, yes, it can be a little intimidating for a young wife new to performing oral sex. (The forceful and even lengthy streams of warm, sometimes thick, semen following quite rapidly one upon the other inside your mouth do take a little getting used to.) Here is what you can do. Keep a neutral mental attitude free of worry! These facts can help. Be aware that it is very rare for even a virile, very aroused young man to have more than 10 or 12 pulses of semen during his ejaculation, but 7 or 8 spurts is more the norm for young guys. In the typical (7 or 8 spurt) ejaculation, the first 3 to 5 pulses are usually the strongest (in both force and volume of ejaculate) with noticeably weaker ones following. (For the less frequent lengthy ejaculation, the numbers rise proportionately.) So you already know his ejaculation will not last for very long(!), and that after the first few spurts, it becomes much easier for you to receive. And, ladies, you already know, that even with many strong spurts, the volume of cum you’ll be accepting is not very large(!) – it is perhaps a large table spoon in a quite lengthy, very strong ejaculation – but most times much less (like a few small tea spoons)! At the start, ask your husband to signal you when he gets close to ejaculating. (As he builds up to ejaculating, you can encourage him by talking with him. Say things like, “Cum for me, baby.” or “I can’t wait to taste you.” or whatever you feel is appropriate. A little more rapid sucking can help him get there.) When he warns you, ease back a little and suck only the very top of the shaft and the head of his penis (keep one hand on the shaft to control how far he can go inside your mouth, and it does help some men when the wife keeps a hand gently cupping or lightly stroking his testes as he nears ejaculation and as he ejaculates). At this time, sucking just the head, the entire head, is enough stimulation. Then, as noted in the essay above, if you are feeling overwhelmed by the very rapid and forceful pulses, opening your lips a little more, while vigorously sucking the head of his penis, allows any excess semen to run out of your mouth while he is ejaculating. But try to continue sucking the head until he is done – even when there are more pulses than usual. If during the later and weaker pulses, you feel more comfortable, then simply close your lips more. If you concentrate on sucking, staying mentally focused on your sucking, you may not feel overwhelmed by his first few strong pulses. You will take them in stride so to speak. These are such small concerns when compared to the joy and intimacy you can share with your husband at these times! Do not allow these issues to keep you from enjoying your fellatio.
Deirdre | Jan 7, 2011 at 3:46 PM
When my husband is going to cum he tells me, and I hold his penis shaft in one hand and rub it so that he cums just inside my mouth and I can use my tongue all around the head of his penis. With the other hand I stroke his balls, which get very tight when he cums. This is for the reason you mention, the thrust can gag me and that is no fun.
Caitlin MacKenna says: June 16, 2008 at 6:38 pm
I think many women think that what they do with the semen is irrelevant. After all, the guy just ejaculated, so the deed is done. Then they complain that men only care about the physical aspect of sex. I think that swallowing is of psychological and emotional importance for men. Like you say, if they know from the beginning that you are going to let them ejaculate in your mouth and then swallow, the whole blow job is going to be more enjoyable for them.
Caitlin’s comment is true on both counts! And this is worth expanding on. 1. Ejaculating in his wife’s mouth followed by her swallowing his semen is important emotionally and psychologically for the man. Yes, ejaculating hard inside her warm, wet mouth is very exciting and enjoyable physically – but it also shows him her acceptance of him at a deeply intimate level. That is why if the wife pulls his penis out of her mouth at the last second prior to his climax – the husband feels this as a rejection (of him). Yes, it feels great to be cumming in her mouth – both physically and emotionally. And, when she swallows, that takes the feeling of acceptance and shared intimacy to an even deeper level. (Many experienced wives, who readily swallow, also say this shared feeling of intimacy and acceptance is important to them.)
2. When the man knows that his wife is going to allow him to ejaculate in her mouth and then swallow it, and knows this from the start, he can relax and enjoy the oral sex more. Why? He knows at the outset that she is okay with receiving the semen and swallowing, and he knows that it is not “an imposition” on her, nor a “cause of unpleasantness” for her. Thus, he is not distracted during the oral sex by thoughts or concerns about her comfort. As well, he knows that she will not be removing his penis from her mouth at the time of his climax. He knows there will not be any awkward, hurried movements that abruptly take his sensitive penis out of her warm, wet, pleasing mouth at the most intense, crucial moments. (Removing the penis causes a very noticeable reduction in the sensuous stimulation the man is feeling. Oral stimulation is more intense than the stimulation he can receive from your hands.) Knowing that the process is not going to be interrupted, and knowing that when he is ready he can ejaculate freely and forcefully and completely inside her mouth allows him to fully relax and fully enjoy his ejaculation. He is not distracted during the oral sex by worries about her pulling his penis from her mouth when he wants to cum, or when he begins cumming.
Wives: let your husband know right at the beginning that you want him to cum inside your mouth. Remove this worry from the experience, and you will make the oral sex more enjoyable for him and for yourself.
Elaine September 2012
Is it an option to start in the shower? That way he is for sure clean and it seems like you just want to spice things up. We have a lot of fun thoroughly washing each other’s fun parts. Then you can work your way down with slow wet kisses until you are on your knees or sitting on the side of the tub. If he isn’t very tall or if his legs start getting weak as you get him closer to coming, you can have him sit on the side of the tub while you kneel down between his legs. This is also a great time to let him come on your face or breasts if you are cool with that. Since you are in the shower you can wash it right off.
If showering isn’t an option I seroiusly doubt any guy would object to you washing him off if you are going to be sucking and licking him after. You could proably do just about anything you want to him at that point… 🙂
Elaine makes a good suggestion. Try giving oral in the shower. And, the shower makes it easier for you to receive the finish in different ways. If you want to try receiving his cum on your face and/or breasts, the shower makes clean up easy.
Spitting and swallowing aren’t the only options. I sort of pull back so it misses my mouth. But sometimes that means it hits me in the face which is very awkward.
We recommend accepting the finish inside your mouth, but for the times when you want to see the pulses (spurts) of his ejaculation and/or feel the warm semen landing on your skin, be sure to continue hand stimulation after he has warned you he is close and you remove his penis from your mouth. Let your husband know in advance that you want to see him ejaculate so he knows what to expect, and he may want to take over the stimulation and stroke himself to ejaculation in those last few moments. A little variety in the finish is okay and your husband will be fine with it. When he warns you, then encourage him verbally (as Susan S says below) by saying something like “Cum all over my face. I want you to cum all over my face.”
∗∗∗∗ Tip: A few thoughts on receiving the ejaculation on your face and/or breasts. This ought to be your choice as to when and if you do it, but if your husband requests it, it is something to consider trying. He experiences much more gratifying physical sensations when he finishes inside your mouth (regardless of whether you swallow or spit) so that can be (and ought to be) the usual way to finish your loving oral sex. Thus, accepting his ejaculation on your face is really not necessary. (It is more of a novel, visual thrill for him than physically pleasurable.) That said, more than a few wives enjoy (“love”) watching their husband ejaculating at close range. It is an exciting visual for many wives. So, doing this once in a while can be fun for you. In or out of the shower, some wives will wear a pair of reading glasses (or lightly shaded sunglasses) when they are going to take the cum on their face to protect their eyes from forceful spurts. This allows the husband to ejaculate forcefully and completely (and not “hold back”) and also allows the wife to easily keep her eyes open as she watches the spurts up close. You may want to have a pair of glasses handy for slipping on at the proper time. Tying your hair back also helps reduce clean up.
When you want him to ejaculate on to your face, it may be easier for you and for him that he take over (when he is close) and stroke himself rapidly to ejaculation while you relax and watch. As we discuss elsewhere in this addendum, it can be more difficult for the husband to ejaculate through only hand stroking. (Regardless of position, it is easier for him to finish in the mouth.) Therefore, you may want to cup/cradle his testes with one hand, or gently caress these, while he strokes himself to his ejaculation. Wives who enjoy the taste of the semen can give their husband a target by keeping their mouth open and extending their tongue as he cums. Alternatively, she can close her mouth, keep her eyes open, and take all of it on her face. (Either way, this is a very erotic and arousing visual for her husband as he is pumping out his spurts. And, she can opt for applying some lipstick or lip gloss and/or eye makeup before she comes to the marriage bed to add some color and variety, and thus enhance the visual for her husband.) As well, after he finishes, she can easily scoop up any cum on her face and breasts for tasting and swallowing (if she wants). Or, she may choose to rub or massage the warm semen into her skin (her face and/or breasts/nipples) for a unique feeling – it is all good. This is also an erotic visual for her husband, and shows her acceptance of his semen. If the husband’s “load” is large (and if he has not ejaculated for a few days it will be larger), the wife can taste/swallow a little and massage the rest of it into her skin. The wife,if she wants, can also engage in a little post ejaculation sucking of the penis head to wind things down.
The occasional “facial”, or “coating” of her breasts, can be fun for both husband and wife. It is something to consider trying after you are comfortable with the semen. It gives you a fun option for the (hopefully, rare) times you do not want to accept his ejaculation inside your mouth, or for those times when you want to see the spurts of cum jetting out of his penis at close range. (Another time to direct the semen on to your face or breasts is when your husband is experiencing a rare “monster” ejaculation that quickly becomes too much for you to comfortably continue accepting inside your mouth. Keep this in mind. You could pull him out and have him finish on your face or breasts. Accepting his ejaculation should not become overwhelming to you. Too much output makes it difficult for you to enjoy receiving it.) Note: In your love play with your husband, infrequently accepting his semen on your face is not degrading to you, and ought not be thought of as degrading. That said, wives who are not comfortable with the idea of accepting the ejaculation on their face, can easily direct his penis (while continuing hand stroking) towards their breasts. The wife still sees the climax and has less anxiety or discomfort with the experience. Many wives, who are reluctant to accept the semen on their face, enjoy this easy option of taking the ejaculation on their breasts. (And, this really is simply a personal preference – likely based on personal comfort level. Not wanting to generalize, but, it seems from the many comments I’ve read, that younger wives are less reluctant (and perhaps more curious or adventurous) when it comes to trying facials. However, there are middle aged wives who don the glasses and playfully enjoy a facial every now and then with their husband.)
(We should mention a variation here that you might try now and then. For those (infrequent) times when you do not want to swallow, yet you want to allow your husband to enjoy freely cumming inside your mouth, you can opt to gently spit the semen out after he is done (so that it drips down on to your breasts) or let it drain away as he is ejaculating. For some husbands, this can be exciting to see and adds a little variety to the ending. The semen that drips down on to your breasts can be massaged into them (by your husband or yourself) if you like, or wiped away with a tissue or towel.)
If/when you try these various endings, find out what works for you and what you and your husband enjoy. Remember to make it fun. Whether on your face or on your breasts, and whether you swallow or massage the semen into your skin, if your husband delivers a big load or spurts for a long time, show your appreciation by complimenting him for his ejaculation. When this happens, it is a sign that he was very aroused and that your loving oral sex was very intense for him. It is true that men want their wives to appreciate (and enjoy) their ejaculations, and it makes him feel more accepted when she does. ∗∗∗∗
5 relevant comments.
Jane B – on taking her first “facial” with her young man (after oral sex, large ejaculation)
. . . . I was quite comfortable taking it on my breasts and swallowing, so this one time he asked me if I was willing to take it on my face. I had no idea what it was about and the idea seemed a bit strange, but I didn’t mind trying it. The first time was certainly memorable, but not too enjoyable for me. I was overwhelmed by the amount, he just kept on cumming everywhere on my face and it felt so messy and dominating and it was quite embarrassing to see myself in the mirror later in the bathroom. However, he just loved it like crazy and he was quite respectful with me, so that wasn’t our last time and I got used to it after a while.
My wife doesn’t like me to finish in her mouth. She was also against me finishing on her face until recently. I don’t know what changed her mind, but she started to let me get a little on her chin, and before I knew it, she was aiming all over her face! She loves it now, and I love her for it.
I too think of it as being submissive, and I think that’s what the turn on is for me at least.
anonymous woman 02-07-2010 01:31
. . . . When I get to see or taste it definitely YES!! There is nothing like seeing a huge amount of your man’s cum all over you! Its just more exciting to see lots come out!
Audrey – posted on 02/23/2013
I like it most when he cums in my mouth or on my face. i love him cuming anywhere on me though, i’m not too fussed. i would cover myself in his cum if i could.
Darla – posted on 02/20/2014
i absolutely love it inside of me. But like others, I love it as well on my face or boobs. and my mouth…. it is sooo erotic
Before continuing, let’s note that there are times when the issue for the wife is not accepting her husband’s ejaculation, but that he won’t climax. For the wife performing fellatio who desires to bring her husband to ejaculation, his not being able to cum can be very frustrating and disappointing. She may think that she is responsible and is not doing something correctly. But, this may not be the case. We include this link to an article that sheds some light on this.
We now present several comments from women on both accepting the ejaculation – even when it is very strong – and on swallowing. This is a challenge at times for wives and these comments may help them. (With experience, this becomes easier for the wife.)
aster flower Posted 01/24/2011
I can barely handle it cause husband has a lot of cum. I just put my mouth on the head and suck it out.
Can you tell when he’s about to [ejaculate]? When he’s close, I keep him in my mouth far towards the back, so that he squirts into the back of my mouth, NOT onto my tongue. I swallow a few times before he climaxes to get myself “used” to swallowing. Then when he releases, I swallow as much as I need to. When it’s all back there, I don’t taste it or “feel” it.
My problem is that when it’s a large load I also gag. . . . .
So, when I know he’s about to cum, I slide him out a little and close my teeth some. It cuts down on the rush.
Svetlana Ivanova from her blog:
Just before ejaculation, you may feel the penis harden, swell, and spasm, but that first spurt of semen may still catch you by surprise. You may also be surprised by the force and amount of the ejaculation, which can sometimes be a little overwhelming, even though it’s also exciting and satisfying since you know that you caused it. Just hang on and enjoy your reward for doing a good job.
The head of the penis may noticeably swell and harden a little more shortly before he cums. You can feel this with your mouth and lips.
Susan says: June 11, 2012 at 4:49 pm
. . . . most enjoyable for me is to grip the head tight and help with sucking out semem. This way my mouth get filled and once done I gulp bit by bit and swallow.
Joanna says: July 18, 2012 at 12:36 am
I am okay with swallowing semen, it’s really a mixed battle for me. On the one hand I love giving blowjobs. I have no idea why I like it so much, the feeling of his penis in my mouth makes me go crazy. . . . The only problem I have with semen is the flavor. Normally when he starts shooting I let it fill my mouth, wait a sec, play with it with my tounge, and then swallow. This takes like 7 secs.
Regarding this next comment, some women need time to become comfortable with the ejaculation (the spurts or shots) occurring inside their mouth. With experience, this becomes easier. As Melissa points out, ejaculations do vary in number of spurts.
Melissa says: October 26, 2013 at 10:17 am
I don’t have much experience swallowing. When I have let a man cum into my mouth I’ve enjoyed doing it for him but I can never anticipate how long the duration will last or the initial force of it. Sometimes I only feel 2 to 3 spurts and other times, unexpectedly he’ll spurt away forever. Of course I keep him in my mouth until it finishes. I always expect a few but after about the fourth there kinda unexpected and not knowing when he’ll stop feels a little chaotic. Is there any way to feel or tell how long he will ejaculate or after a spurt whether there’s gonna be another one?
Svetlana Ivanova says: October 26, 2013 at 7:26 pm
I don’t think so, but that’s also the fun of it: You never know quite how much you’re going to get or for how many times.
It is true that there is no way to know in advance how long your husband will ejaculate or how much he will produce. Some factors to consider are how long it has been since he last ejaculated, how long you have been stimulating him, and how aroused he is. If it has been a few days since he last ejaculated, you can expect a larger volume of semen, and possibly more spurts. As well, if he is very aroused, there may be more force behind his spurts.
A related response to an earlier question:
Svetlana Ivanova says: October 14, 2010 at 4:48 am
Believe it or not, I usually don’t count. There are definitely more contractions than there are spurts of semen. I would say that the number of spurts might range from three to seven, and, yes, it is more thrilling when he just keeps cumming and cumming. It also makes you feel like you’ve done a good job.
As so-called “deep throating” is difficult for many women (even experienced women), most wives receive the ejaculation in their mouth, and then swallow. Thus, wives need to get used to having semen in their mouth for a short time. Also, some men desire to watch the woman swallow their semen after they have finished cumming, it is extra visual stimulation for them. A husband may even ask his wife to show him his “load” before she swallows it. There may even be times when, for a change or for variety, the man wants to see his wife spit the semen out or let it dribble/drain out of her mouth.
Svetlana Ivanova says: April 1, 2010 at 7:34 am
. . . Soon you’ll associate the taste of his semen with the pleasure of performing fellatio and with his pleasure, and you’ll enjoy it and look forward to it.
Here is a helpful, insightful and beautiful comment from a loving wife. She observes that semen taste and texture can (and do) vary.
JennieBottle (a young wife)
Well actually it is a bitter salty taste. But I have noticed that it can be sweeter, and it matters what he has eaten in the last 24 hours I think.. And sometimes it can be thicker and sometimes it can be thinner. When I first tasted it I would gag too and want to spit it out. But after a while I started swallowing and my husband just gets so turned on. I can tell he enjoys me swallowing it a lot. It’s not the greatest taste but I have very much come to like it. Sometimes I’ll suck on a fruit of some kind before I give him a blowjob just to make it taste better. It isn’t for every woman, and if you don’t like it than don’t do it. I personally love it though.
Another comment. If it helps you, then incorporate flavors you like into your oral sex.
HappyWife (Southeast Michigan) August 2012
I recently tried honey on my husband while giving a BJ and it was a huge success. I have always liked giving them, but have been unable to swallow (had a thing about the texture/taste). I have always wanted to swallow (I know, weird right? Why couldn’t I just get over it?) anyway, the desire was there especially since I knew he would love it. So we experimented with honey and let’s just say everything went down smoothly. The BJ was very slippery (which he loved) and the taste was sweet (which I loved) so win/win! What made it extra special was that I waited until he was looking at me before I visibly swallowed.
Eye contact at the finish is always nice.
The importance of controlling how much of his penis is in your mouth:
Comment by hisgirl on August 6, 2009 3:21 pm
Sometimes my husband does thrust a little when I do oral on him (just as a reaction, I think) and also I know he likes to feel me pressing against him hard… And that’s okay at first, but after his erection gets really firm I can’t handle it – same problem you have I think. So when he starts thrusting, I just use my hand on the lower part of his penis so that there’s only a little bit in my mouth. He gets to feel tightly surrounded and can thrust all he wants, and I don’t gag.
Anonymous says: July 21, 2011 at 4:18 am
. . . . Also ladies, if gagging because of size is an issue like it is for me (little mouth, well-endowed husband), try lying on your back with your head hanging of the edge of the bed and him standing in front of you. It takes the edge off your gag reflex and it is much easier to take a LOT more of him in.
Serenity October 2012 Re: the husband “head grabbing” during oral sex.
This is what my husband does while he’s standing, and I’m kneeling in front of him. Not only is it really arousing, it also allows him to set the rhythm that works best for him.
I do put my hands lightly on the fronts of his thighs, so that I can push back a little if he gets…overly enthusiastic.
Not all husbands do this. Make sure you are comfortable with this – he should be gentle when he holds or moves your head. (Some husbands just want to run their fingers through their wife’s hair and/or caress her face as she sucks on the penis.) If you are not comfortable with this, tell him so, and take control of your fellatio.
Lori February 9, 2012 at 7:04 pm (excerpted from the comments to the Hot, Holy, Humorous essay linked to above)
“What about an overactive gag reflex?” Use your hand on the shaft (with lubrication) and keep your mouth just at the head. Make sure you are in control of the moment so there are no sudden surprises.
Jennifer February 9, 2012 at 4:07 pm (excerpted from the Hot, Holy, Humorous essay linked to above)
A tip I learned, you can use your hand on/around the shaft to provide extra stimulation, and at the same time, as a “guard” to keep from going to far down if you have an over-active gag reflex, like I do.
Lizzy December 2012
I am new here, but saw the topic and thought I’d respond.
I have only read up until page 7, so this might have been covered after but I didn’t see it. It’s kind of an important tip. I always use the hand simultaneously with my mouth (hand in front of the mouth) which helps in two ways…first, the sensation extends to the base, and it protects me when my husband gets excited and pushes on my head at the end.
I use my other hand during fellatio as well to alternately sort of tickle the testicles and make circular motions with a bit of pressure on the prostate, especially at the point of orgasm (when I suck hard and use the tip of my tongue on the head). He has damned near passed out from pleasure many a time using this technique. I’ll probably have to let up if he ever gets a heart condition.
K. March 6, 2014 at 1:54 pm (excerpted from the comments to the Hot, Holy, Humorous’s essay on Making the Most of His Manhood on March 6, 2014)
I found out once that my husband likes it when I press and stroke on that area behind his testicles during oral sex. He really responds! I got the idea after reading about the prostate gland and the pleasure it can receive if massaged. He also likes my other hand around the shaft at the same time.
Here is a comment about the value and benefits of communication and practice. (A brief clarification may be needed on this comment. It appears to be poorly worded when she talks about gagging during the oral process. I think she means that if she gags during her oral sex, such gagging does not indicate nor imply that the oral sex is unpleasant for her, nor that she does not enjoy performing the oral sex. Thus, her husband knows that she enjoys the act even with some reflex gagging.)
Wives, if you do experience a little reflex gagging during the oral sex, let your husband know that this is just reflex gagging and nothing more. Let him know that you are still enjoying the act. He wants you to (be able to) enjoy performing oral sex.
Comment by SavedandSexy on March 7, 2011 8:28 am
I have a huge gag reflex so much so that even brushing my teeth can make me gag, however this doesn’t stop me from letting H finish in my mouth. He understands about my reflex and if I do happen to gag during the oral process it has nothing to do with the fact that it is unpleasant or I am not enjoying it. I have apologized for it and he is always like “UMMM…it was great what is there to apologize for?” So maybe just a little extra communication could help and honestly the more I do it the easier it is to control the gag reflex. Of course, if things are great the way they are then just keep doin what you are doin!!
After having accepted his ejaculation inside your mouth, swallowing is actually the easiest and quickest way to remove your husband’s semen from your mouth. It is also an extremely, emotionally intimate act for your husband and for yourself. (As well, since your swallowing avoids any messy cleanup, it lets you perform oral sex spontaneously and in almost any place or situation that you both desire to enjoy it. This extra freedom, and the variety it permits, can be very exciting for both of you.) Thus, it comes as no surprise that swallowing is,by far, the preferred option for those times when he ejaculates inside your mouth. (Spitting out the semen, and acting negatively like it is so “gross’ really destroys much of the intimacy and the acceptance that you can share with your oral sex.) Some wives have learned to swallow during the ejaculation after each pulse. If you can do that, so much the better, especially during a lengthy ejaculation. But, many wives cannot easily do this, and quickly swallow the entire “load” after the ejaculation has finished. (When you receive a larger volume of the semen from your husband, you may simply need to swallow a few times. It is easy. Once you begin to enjoy swallowing, receiving a bigger load will be no big deal.) Many husbands like to watch their wife swallowing. As well, we note in passing that the very many wives who like the semen taste and/or texture often take their time in swallowing (to enjoy the taste) and this shows their husband they enjoy doing this. And, from the numerous comments on the various discussions forums, many wives do enjoy (even “love”) the taste/texture of the cum, and swallowing it. In time, you may as well. Once you become comfortable (through your experiences) with your husband’s semen in your mouth, you will quite naturally enjoy swallowing and then the entire act of oral sex becomes stress free for you, and thus you can enjoy it more. Swallowing, with a little experience (and familiarity), will become so natural for you to do, that you will likely not even give it a second thought. Many wives, after gaining that personal comfort level through their experiences, enjoy swallowing at the end of their efforts.
Here are several comments some of which address attitudes towards swallowing.
Svetlana Ivanova says: July 18, 2012 at 7:01 pm
Once you’ve tasted it, you might as well swallow even if it doesn’t taste good. It’s worth it for his enjoyment and self-esteem.
Susan S 8/21/14
I love cum! I take it as my reward for doing a good job. . . . . I don’t mean to judge others but I sometimes wonder if women who find it disgusting just have a mental block. . . . . Once you accept cum as normal you realize it’s no big deal. Except it is a big deal to guys. . . . . Men love their cum and they want a woman to love their cum as well. . . . . It gives them a deep sense of satisfaction and acceptance.
I’ve never had any problem swallowing cum. In fact, it seems the most natural thing to do. Even if you find cum disgusting it seems to me spitting it out just makes it worse. Swallowing gets rid of it quicker.
One see comments to this effect from experienced wives who swallow – that it feels\seems the natural thing to do at the time.
Personally, I love to swallow because I like the taste, because I know how much it pleases the guy and because it just feels so good psychologically. It’s a form of total acceptance of one’s partner, isn’t it?
Re: First oral experience…
Post by MyHusbandsWifey » Mon Jun 18, 2007 9:53 am
I’m responding before reading the other posts. I’m pretty sure we both gave each other oral on the honeymoon. I can’t remember which day of it, though. 😉
I just kinda explored. I didn’t do it to completion for a while, though, because it kinda grossed me out. But within a few months we had figured out a certain position we use, and I’m able to do it to completion and (usually) swallow. At first he helped me by suggesting things to try – how to lick, where, etc
Don’t stress about it. Go with the flow – if you see his “thing” and want to explore down there a bit with your eyes, hands, and tongue, then go for it. You’ll be free to do whatever you want! 🙂
i actually really do enjoy the act of swallowing. not because I think the come tastes great or anything like that, but I feel like its the only proper way to finish of a blow job. I get so turned on by having him still in my mouth while he is cumming. I thought it was gross before I ever tried it, but now, I can’t imagine not swallowing after giving a bj.
Svetlana Ivanova from her blog:
You can either swallow his semen as he ejaculates, or keep it in your mouth and swallow it afterward. Swallowing afterward is better because that gives you the chance to savor the taste and texture. Also, men love to watch you swallow their semen!
. . . . . When you’re finished, smiling at him and saying something nice about his penis, how big an ejaculation he had, how good his semen tasted, or how much you enjoyed giving him a blow job will make him feel even better than he already does.
(And, this is easy to do. The specifics of the situation can guide you. For example, if your husband has a small ejaculation, then compliment him about some other aspect – and do not show him any visible disappointment. If his semen tasted especially good to you (sweet or tangy), then tell him so, after you have savored and swallowed it.)
anonymous wife (2011)
There certainly are some women who say that cum is disgusting. Some of them are even right here on this forum. In most cases I suspect simple ignorance and in a few maybe even envy. They probably don’t swallow very often. My husband cums into my mouth and I swallow. . . . . . I remember that before I started swallowing cum I was actually a bit afraid of cum and he helped me get over my initial fear. But for the life of me I have no memory of why I had that oddball fear in the first place (that was too many years ago now). Any such fears would certainly seem rather childish, silly and even embarrassing to me now. At no time would I have ever said it was disgusting. Cum is quite good. I’d say it is an acquired taste that didn’t take much time or effort on my part to acquire. I’d go so far as to say that if one has even the slightest motivation to become a cum lover and enthusiastic cum swallower and one also swallows cum reasonably often (as I do), it’s a good bet you will amazingly quickly succeed at achieving your goal and then some. 🙂
debbiedance2002 Posted 08/30/2011
Thats one of those things you can sorta develope a taste for over time. It use to bother me because I spent to much time thinking about it…lol. Once I decided it was no big deal in my mind it became routine. Now I am actually starting to really get into swallowing.. I love the look on his face …if you work it right you can turn it into a real torture act and drive him out of his mind…I’ll even “milk” him now afterwards and lick the remains off the head….he can’t wait to kiss me..lol. If its good enuff for me to taste…it is sure good enuff for him to taste as well.
krazegurl_ds Posted 01/06/2011
I swallow about 99% of the time, . . . . Also women who don’t let guys cum in their mouth perplex me, whats the point of oral sex if you won’t let the guy cum in your mouth?
Here is a more emphatic comment from another woman.
Nonmember comment from Laurie July 7, 2011 at 12:26 PM
Swallowing ISN’T weird! And performing oral sex on your partner can be an expression of love as much as sex can, ….. it’s not degrading or abusive. No, this isn’t a joke – it’s very good for you. It’s not disgusting, . . . . Open your mind a little.
Some wives continue gently sucking and licking his “deflating” penis, after swallowing (or between swallows), to keep the post ejaculation emotional intimacy and closeness going for a short while. Ask your husband if he desires this. Once you are comfortable with accepting the ejaculate, and are not bothered by the taste or texture, you can easily do this.
Find what works best for you, and what you enjoy. How you swallow is not as important as the fact that you are swallowing for your husband. But, wives, we strongly advise that you do try to swallow all of the cum, even the big loads, at least what is in your mouth at the end! (No need for concern if some spills out or drops away during his ejaculation.) As you now know that semen is healthy (actually very beneficial for you) and, as noted above, that swallowing is actually the easiest, quickest way to remove it from your mouth, there really is no reason not to swallow all of it. Is there? Swallowing after the ejaculation completes a beautiful shared experience. (If you are still a little uncomfortable as to its taste, swallowing quickly and then drinking some juice, or having a flavored substance in your mouth (see tips in linked essays above) takes care of this.) Swallow with some enthusiasm so your husband does not think that you hate it. This may be hard for you to do at first while you are still gaining experience and a personal comfort level with your oral sex, but ladies, at the very least, please try not to show displeasure with your swallowing. No unhappy 😦 faces. 😦 Whether you swallow all at once or take a few moments to do so, a little post ejaculation licking and gentle, slow sucking and kissing of his penis is a pleasant (and playful) way to wind things down for both of you! (You can also playfully move or gently drag his now wet or slippery, semi-firm penis across and all around your face (while pressing the shaft’s underside and head to your face) a few to several times as you kiss and lick it. A little gentle tapping or “slapping” of the penis head against your face is okay. Do not be bothered that a little semen may be spread on your face by doing this. Your tender, affectionate closeness to his penis after accepting his ejaculation can be very visually and emotionally stimulating for your husband, and fun for you.)
Mona November 2012
Finishing tip: For my husband, after he’s finished I keep going for a bit. Very, very gently though. The response is blissful moaning from him. He doesn’t get hard again or anything, it’s just an extremely pleasurable come down from the high.
From another forum:
I totally agree. Although it is really sensitive right after he cums, from what I know it actually gets better if you continue to caress it with your mouth & keep gently sucking. After a couple minutes you can go crazy again. If most guys would bare with it, they would be more satisfied than they think they already are.
Most of the time, my guy stays rock hard throughout, and the first blow job is the warm up. After he cums I continue to lick and lightly suck while I massage his balls, and he loves it. He gets incredibly hard about a minute after he ejaculates and then I either suck it for a bit before I ride him to finish him off or I get all sloppy on it and really give him an agressive second finish. He thinks it’s great because he gets the chance to get both the full blow job & the go hard sex, not just the foreplay blow job then the quickie after.
Be aware that both (the playful) sucking of the penis and then swallowing the cum are pleasurable for many wives (and, as you will read below, this is true across the entire age range from their 20s to their 60s). And, as the mouth, tongue and lips are an erogenous zone, many a wife has come to enjoy the (various, unique, exciting) physical sensations of her husband ejaculating inside her mouth (the very hard, throbbing penis with its swollen and flexible head, the rapid pulses of warm semen, and the taste/texture of the semen). Some wives really like being into that rhythm of sucking as the husband nears and then begins ejaculating. They are excited by the anticipation, and want to share and participate in his climax. They delight in feeling his penis becoming even firmer and more swollen inside their mouth, receiving/tasting the “pre-cum” that indicates “he is close”, and then feeling the warm semen forcefully pulsing into their mouth. More than a few wives are “turned on” when they receive several strong “shots” with a good volume of the cum for swallowing. Such a wife often thinks of the ejaculate as her “reward” for her loving efforts, and loves swallowing it (for her husband and for herself). As well, the wife well knows that a powerful ejaculation is a sure sign that her husband had an intensely enjoyable experience through her efforts.
Susan S 8/20/14
I agree about semen being a turn on. I can’t explain but the warm feeling, taste and texture of semen in my mouth and on my face really excites me. . . . . .
I also verbalize my pleasure, saying things like “I love your cock.” When I feel him getting ready to cum I’ll say “Oh yeah, cum in my mouth, I want to taste you” or “Cum all over my face, I want you to cum all over my face.” I know that sharing my pleasure and excitement heighten’s the excitement for him.
I actually enjoy the feeling of the sperm being squirted into my mouth.
Some of us women like to swallow for ourselves (b/c it feels good) and not just to please the man.
Below is a comment from a wife who learned to deep throat, and several other comments from wives who enjoy swallowing. From the many comments: It is no exaggeration to say that a large number of wives have come to like, if not love, the taste of their husband’s cum. This is true for many wives who at first did not like it, some of whom never thought they could grow to like it, but did.
I love to swallow my husband’s cum. I have a really strong gag reflex, that’s why I take his penis as far down my throat as I can and then when he releases his warm cum, I take and swallow every last drop.
Lovenugget1405 Last edited 01/14/2011
I never used to but hubby asked me to & is was not that big of a deal he eats healthy so it tastes fine kind of smooth I don’t really know how I would discribe it.
Lisa (42 years old)
I don’t mind the taste of come, but sometimes, initially, it will trigger a gag reflex. If I just hold it, and the penis, in my mouth for a few seconds, take a few deep breaths then I can and do enjoy swallowing.
I prefer in my vagina, but if he cums in my mouth I always swallow it and I love the feeling and the taste.
I love my husband’s semen. I’ve been swallowing since the mid-80’s! I guess I was silly at first, I didn’t know not to swallow – I thought that if you suck on it and he cums, you swallow. It wasn’t a while later talking to GFs that some girls spit it out. By that time, I was a swallower and wasn’t going to change.
I keep swallowing until it stops coming out. 🙂
A lot of times BJs are just foreplay but if they’re the end-all I always swallow. I’m the kind of person that is easily grossed out and it took a while for me to get the guts to try it. My H never suggested it and was quite shocked the 1st time it happened. It doesn’t bother me at all now and there’s no mess afterwards!
I am always looking to please my husband, and I love giving him head because he tastes good. So, no, swallowing is not a problem for me at all. In fact, I love it, and I know it turns him on.
I enjoy giving hubby blow jobs cos he loves it so much, its another way of showing him I love him! Don’t mind the taste at all, and swallowing is so much tidier.
We are in our sixties, married thirty years, and have a great sex life including some very loving mutual oral, hubby sucks me and I suck him. I’ve always swallowed his cum and genuinely enjoy its taste (either salty or lemony) and consistency, although while it’s still quite thick and juicy, I don’t get the full mouthful I did when we were in our thirties! I’d never have it any other way, he’d be very hurt if I spat it out, not that I would, it’s a major part of our loving relationship.
Comment by Love Pleasing My Hubby on May 13, 2010 9:15 pm
We are in our early 60′s and my husband loves oral sex and I love pleasing him. A quick shower together with sexual touching sets the scene. He gets especially excited if I stimulate myself or let him do it as I give him oral sex. I love the taste of his semen but do admit that I was queasy at first. For those of you women who are just beginning to explore with your husbands or just married I encourage you to be open to the wonderful pleasures that God has created for us within marriage.
The taste is really nothing – when my husband shoots a large load I keep swallowing as he shoots and keep sucking – you almost can’t taste iit. When it’s a smaller amount (like if it’s his 3rd bj of the day) I just hold it in my mouth and swallow after he finishes – yes, you can taste it – but really, most of the time I don’t mind the taste at all. There are times, depending on what you eat and drink, that a guy’s cum does not taste good. Try eating fruits and even celery – I heard those help the taste. I actually like him coming in my mouth and would not want it any other way. I really do think it’s yummy 🙂
I love everything about giving bjs – it’s a total turn on for me – I love making my hubby groan and finally blast into my mouth or down my throat – I just love it! I give him head almost everyday – sometime many times in a day – kinda selfish of me huh? LOL He loves cumming in my mouth, and I love giving him blowjobs. Nice combination! Anyway, have fun.
Shelly says: January 1st, 2012 at 10:50 pm
The first time I gave oral sex was on my husband after we were married. I love to give and receive. I give more than receive but that is okay. I don’t mind. It really enhances our sexual experience. I didn’t know how to do it when I first tried it on my husband but he helped me and now is very pleased. 😉
. . . . . But to the main post, I love the taste and the feel of my guys contractions in my mouth. It’s a big turn on for me…physically and emotionally. I know he’s feeling intense pleasure and is vulnerable, and is letting me share in his feelings. To be in control of that really makes me feel great.
BrandieDBanks Posted 01/25/2011
swallow it up! I LOVE the taste of it……and yes I kiss my husband after I swallow!
Hi, am replying to this post on behalf of my husband. He surely loves me giving him a Blow Job, and loves to cum in my mouth, i love to swallow, suck/lick him dry and all along am watching his face, he seems over the moon !!
cheers … annie
Well, I can say that while I do enjoy bringing my husband to climax in my mouth, it’s not that I just enjoy cum in my mouth – it is about the entire experience and our relationship. I think a lot of people think it is a power play thing, but I see it as the utmost expression of intimacy. Also, like others have mentioned, the consistency and taste is not the best, so I generally like to have just a taste and then pull his cock out and have him finish cumming on my face and breasts. I LOVE to see him ejaculate so that’s hard to do if his penis is inside my mouth. . . . . Now, I’ve always wondered, what do men get out of it? Is it different, physically, or is there a mental/emotional/psychological thing behind wanting to cum in a woman’s mouth?
It is all of those, both physically exciting and mental/emotionally gratifying. (And, Faith gives a possible idea for the wife who needs time to get used to the ejaculation and the semen. Try pulling him out the first few times and watching him finish on your face and/or breasts. Then you can dip your finger in to the cum and try a taste. Soon, you can let him ejaculate in your mouth.)
I never swallowed before I met my husband. With him it just felt hot, and the right thing to do. I’ve never spit since…..and I realized what a giant waste of time (and giant mood-killer) spitting was in the past.
Lynette Comment on September 27, 2011 10:51 am
It really is highly erotic, and I think the ultimate intimacy. When you think about it, that white stuff is all ours, not his, because it’s meant for us.
Christine 30-01-2008 14:01
yeah, i always swallow, always. i don’t like the taste at all, and have to concentrate quite hard not to retch when he comes, (but i don’t!) i find it easier to wait until he’s finished, and then swallow the lot in one gulp. then you don’t taste it as much. i don’t think he would take offense if i said i had to spit it out, but just for me PERSONALLY, i don’t want to, as i think it is a very intimate thing to do for your man, to swallow his cum! and after all, they get all ours in their mouths when they go down there, don’t they!
1sweetmommma June 22, 2011 at 10:03 PM
I swallow, too without hesitation. One of the many, many things my man loves about our sex life (which is thuroughly different from the things he loves about me as a person.)
Stefanie Silva Posted 07/10/2011
I’m glad to see I’m not alone with the swallowing. It just seems so much easier to swallow.
I enjoy swallowing now. Im 40. But until about 10 years ago I got sick at the thought of it. Somehow I tried it and I have loved it ever since. The taste generally is bland to neutral or sometimes salty.
Jenny S (California, 24 years old)
. . . . And I love the taste. A lot of that is probably mental though (I think it’s very sexy / erotic).
Now, a few comments from the guys.
This image is a visual representation of how intense it is for the husband when his wife enthusiastically accepts and swallows his cum. It really is hard to put into words.
My wife (of 20 years) never swallowed my cum until recently when we had started being absolutely honest with each other about our sexual needs, and sharing our fantasies.
One evening she just carried on sucking me and, I suppose, deep throating me until I came, and she swallowed…..She reckons that she’d gotten it wrong by allowing my semen into her mouth all these years and the consistency had put her off. By taking me really deep she didn’t have a problem…..
My wife used to always spit…then one day she decided on her own to swallow, and she has been swallowing ever since. She says she loves the taste. In fact, there are times when we are having intercourse and as I am coming she drops down a swallows the load.
Im a lucky man my wife loves to swallow every drop, every time.
My wife doesn’t like to swallow without warning. If I tell her I’m getting close, and she’s in the mood, she’ll deep throat me and swallow it all. I must say it’s always a great surprise when she does, and I will go to any length for her pleasure as well.
We now include several comments from women about the noticeable and practical benefits of their husband shaving his pubic area regularly. This really helps during oral sex.
myhealthydream says: March 7, 2013 at 7:43 PM
I love it! It looks SO GOOD, and makes oral so much better for me.
gardenbulb says: March 11, 2013 at 10:00 AM
My husband is quite hairy and I was amazed at the “look” when I saw him completely naked. He shaves himself as he’s not willing to try a professional method. Absolutely enjoy performing os (oral sex) even more without wishing I could get hair out of my mouth.
lisasusanh says: March 6, 2013 at 10:47 AM
I LOVE a completely shaved penis! I love the look, the feel, the freedom I have to do oral sex without worrying about getting a hair or two in my mouth… Plus, it actually makes the penis look bigger somehow, because the hair isn’t hiding the length… In my experience, making love doesn’t feel different with a bald penis. I think the difference ultimately is more psychological than anything else. Hey, if that’s primarily the only difference, it’s still way worth experimenting with! 😉
ktabitha says: March 17, 2013 at 2:15 PM
Thanks for all the great advice, gals!! I got my hubby to shave himself bare last night. LOVE IT!!! So smooth and soft (the skin, that is, not his dick…that was quite hard haha). Sucking him was a real treat (no hair in my mouth). I also really enjoyed playing with him with my hands (the silky smooth skin felt really nice). My husband said that he had more sensation when I was playing with him too. Loved the shaved balls too!! Very sexy look!! Why hide all of that goodness behind hair? Now I know why men like us shaved bald too! 🙂
It is no exaggeration to say that there are wives who have swallowed their husband’s semen several hundreds of times over many years of marriage. It is not uncommon for a wife to swallow once or even twice each week. So, over several years of marriage, it adds up. Thus, there are millions of wives here in the US (and many millions more in other countries) who have swallowed their husband’s cum on hundreds of occasions (without any problems).
So, ladies, is there really a need to cling to your mental block that makes you uncomfortable and stresses you so when your husband starts ejaculating inside your mouth, and thus prevents you from enjoying his ejaculation, and simply and easily swallowing at the end of your loving oral sex?! When he starts releasing, and you feel the rapid pulses of semen on your tongue and/or hitting the roof of your mouth, just relax! You know that your fears are only in your mind and that you can command them to leave your mind. Do not be fixated on the thoughts “he is pumping/shooting his semen into my mouth“, or “this is going to be gross“, or “this is demeaning or degrading to me“. It is this mental over thinking that prevents you from letting go, and just relaxing during his ejaculation. Try putting your fears aside for your next few sessions of oral sex, and see if you do not have a much easier and more enjoyable time with it. (We think you will!) If after the next few sessions of your fellatio, you are feeling a little less fearful but are still not completely comfortable with all aspects of it, give it a few more tries.
Comment by deejee33 on July 30, 2008 9:59 am
One of the biggest hurdles that I have had to get over is my pre-concieved notion of “being used”. Just in the past couple of years (we’ve been married 10) I have been able to retrain my thoughts from “being used” to “giving pleasure” to my husband. I would do it for him, but would not enjoy it. However, i have started enjoying it because I know that HE’s enjoying it. I think this negative attitude stemmed from seeing porn pictures where the woman was indeed “being used”. (Another reason to stay away from that stuff!)
I also have a very strong gag reflex…so on those days when even brushing my teeth is making me gag, I try to pleasure him in other way. But I have found that steady, deep breathing helps me overcome any gagging. What also helps is when we 69…or reverse 69 (even better), because I can concentrate on my own sensations too. It actually makes me want him in my mouth even more!
Thanks for opening a discussion about this very sensitive, but important topic!!
Crimsonia July 11, 2011 at 12:50 PM
Is the thought of swallowing a bit of semen REALLY that horrible?
Yes, I swallow…. It is an extreme turn on for my Husband and I love seeing Him sexually excited.
Try this the next time you give oral sex to your husband:
Give yourself permission. Tell him at the outset that you will “finish the job” and he can help you to get him there, and let you know he is “going to cum”, so you can be ready, and not be taken by surprise. Then, with confidence, controlling how much of his penis you take in to your mouth, receive his ejaculation (short or long, with small or large volume of semen) and simply swallow. This gets you past the fear fast! (We strongly urge middle aged wives to take this approach as once you experience how easy it is to do, you won’t refuse your husband oral sex any longer.) Wives who try this find accepting and swallowing the ejaculate quickly becomes easier with a little practice and experience.
Make the effort.
It is a small investment of time and effort to achieve the desired comfort level that then lasts for the rest of your life. Think about that! The effort is worth it. When your husband suggests or requests oral sex, you won’t cringe with fear or anxiety, but will easily and enthusiastically perform it and will enjoy the excitement and the sensations – including freely accepting his strong ejaculation and swallowing his cum – right along with him. (Many wives, with experience, become enthusiastic swallowers.)
Wives, you might find it hard to visualize now, but there may come a time when you eagerly look forward to experiencing his ejaculation inside your mouth, feeling the penis throbbing, anticipating and then feeling the (several) pulses of his warm cum flooding into your mouth, and swallowing at the end of your loving fellatio, as you will value the deep emotional intimacy of the act. Participating and sharing in his climax (which you helped bring about) will be very special for you, . . . and for him. The connection with your husband – as he is ejaculating and you are sucking – is both immediate and intense. This connection is not just physical, it is emotional as well. (If you can, try looking up in to his eyes at this time!) That is the magic of your loving oral sex.
Why this matters
Your loving fellatio is important to your husband. The oral sex you give to him means more to him than just exciting and intense physical sensations. You are showing him a deep level of trust and acceptance and respect that is not so easily shown in other ways in your marriage. You are freely allowing yourself to be very vulnerable during the act as a tangible demonstration of your trust and acceptance of your husband. You are also giving of yourself throughout the entire act for his pleasure. He knows this. There is a real immediacy to the connection you share with your husband as you playfully caress, stroke, kiss, lick, and suck his penis and lovingly caress his testes. He is also vulnerable during the act. But, you both trust and respect each other. You, the wife, are careful to give him this pleasure in a gentle and tender way, so that you do not hurt him by being careless with your teeth on his penis (head or shaft), or by fondling, cradling, squeezing, or scratching his testes with too much force or pressure. As well, your husband refrains from trying to rush you, or to force your head down on to his penis. He lets you take in only as much of his penis as you are comfortably able to. He does not try to thrust deeper into your mouth as that will cause you discomfort, and likely trigger your gag reflex.
All during your loving oral sex you are sharing a connection with each other. Your husband appreciates this trust and acceptance that you show him (even if he does not say so). You, his wife, are communicating to him that you love his penis and respect and honor his masculinity. This is important psychologically for the husband to know – that his wife values his manhood and his masculinity. (In a sense, at a deep, primal level, ejaculating inside your mouth at the end of your loving fellatio reaffirms his view of himself as a man. You have helped to give him confidence as a man.) This trust and acceptance and love for him reaches its climax (no pun intended) when you freely accept his ejaculation and swallow his semen. (You would not do this for any other man in the world!) That is the exclamation point you place on your loving and playful oral sex. As well, the shared intimacy, the vulnerability for both spouses, and the giving on the part of the wife, are all at their greatest during ejaculation as the wife participates in it as she accepts each pulse!! (That is why I have argued for accepting the ejaculation and swallowing in the above paragraphs.)
The wife’s willingness to swallow his sperm is psychologically gratifying to the husband. And, there is undeniably a psychological component here for the man! Here is a relevant comment from a wife.
I love the sort of satisfaction my husband seems to get from me swallowing
This next comment is from an unmarried woman. We do not condone sex outside of marriage. This comment is reproduced here as it is very insightful and can be helpful to wives. Note the beautiful giving attitude throughout. This one comment makes the case persuasively. (As mentioned above, when approached with a giving attitude, oral sex is enjoyable for the giver, and for the receiver.)
Giving my boyfriend oral is a huge turn on for me. I absolutely love it because he absolutely loves it. I know that it makes him feel good when I do it and I actually encourage him to cum in my mouth because its very intimate. I don’t mind the way he tastes or the texture, I enjoy swallowing because it feels like its a special gift I can give my lover.
To reject his ejaculation – either by removing his penis from your mouth prior to it, or by quickly spitting the ejaculate out after he is done – would be completely out of character with all that you have already done. Removing the penis from your mouth causes a very great reduction in the pleasurable sensations your husband is experiencing, and may make it difficult for him to ejaculate completely. Hand stroking is not as stimulating as sucking. My experiences and the comments I have seen from other husbands confirm this. There is a big drop off in stimulation that is no fun, and it can be more difficult for some men to ejaculate fully. (Sure, some husbands will say it does not matter, but most do prefer to be able to climax in their wife’s warm, wet mouth. It feels much better. As well, the wife shows greater acceptance of her husband when she accepts his ejaculation.) Sucking before and during ejaculation makes the entire process flow more smoothly, and the ejaculating is easy and much more pleasurable because of the stronger sensations!! (By stronger sensations, we mean the more intense and exciting stimulation of the penis by sucking, and the often stronger (internal) contractions and longer pulses (streams of semen) experienced while ejaculating as her sucking continues.) The visual aspect is very exciting for the man as well – seeing his wife playfully participating in the ejaculation, sucking away, and accepting his shots, is “hot”. All this together is pretty intense for the husband. Thus, most men, at the end of oral sex, prefer ejaculating strongly inside their wife’s mouth rather than in her hands, or on her face, breasts, or elsewhere. (These other options – if you pull him out of your mouth for his ejaculation – are poor substitutes for the real thing!)
Also, your husband will normally have a stronger, more complete ejaculation through continued sucking.
Why is this so?, you may ask. The brief interruption in stimulation as you remove his penis from your mouth, followed by the reduced stimulation from your hand stroking at the critical time when his body is internally contracting to expel the semen distorts, and to a certain extent frustrates, the ejaculatory process. Consider, if you were about to orgasm and your husband suddenly stopped his stimulation and then resumed with much less intense stimulation for you. Physiologically, the man’s body is designed such that the ejaculatory process, once it starts, is (optimally) not interrupted or slowed down. It is critical to maintain stimulation to ensure the process proceeds normally and hence completely. This process consists of 2 major segments. The first is when the sperm is pulled up by suction as it were (from the testes, which may now draw up closer to his abdomen, and his erection may become even firmer) into an internal reservoir (ducts, whatever) and mixes with the semen from the prostate and other male glands. Your husband feels this happening and knows that ejaculation is not only imminent but inevitable – he is at the “point of no return”. (He should be signalling you he is ready to ejaculate at this point!) The second (and better known) segment of the process (which follows quickly) is the series of rapid and intense (involuntary) muscle contractions (orgasm) that forcefully pump the semen (now with sperm) from this internal reservoir (or ducts) through his penis and out in several pulses or spurts. (This spurting is the ejaculation proper. You have felt and likely seen this many times already.) If you interrupt (or lessen) your stimulation at the point of no return, as the body is transitioning to the second phase, it does make it harder for him to ejaculate normally, fully and completely. The brain is suddenly (abruptly) receiving less intense stimuli and thus may send weaker signals to his urogenital muscles causing weaker, and perhaps fewer, contractions. (This is not a process that you can turn off and on like a light switch.) This may, in some instances, even result in some of the semen not being pumped out from the reservoir – an incomplete ejaculation. (If your husband normally has from 7 to 10 spurts, he may only experience 5 or 6, and these may be weaker.) A weaker orgasm leads to a weaker ejaculation. You want him to have a strong and more satisfying (pleasurable) orgasm and complete ejaculation, therefore continue sucking his penis as he orgasm and while he ejaculates (or, at the very least, rapidly lick (with some pressure) the underside of the head and hand stroke his penis to maintain the stimulation as he ejaculates into your mouth). Another thing you can do to help give him an intense orgasm with strong ejaculation is to stimulate his prostate just prior to and during his orgasm (and until he starts spurting) by stroking or applying pressure with your finger tips to the area just below (or behind) his testes and before his anus.
As well, emotionally, if you quickly remove his penis and do not accept his ejaculation, you are saying to your husband that you were only going through the motions, and that your fear was more important to you than your love for him. You do not honor your husband’s masculinity and virility when you refuse to accept his ejaculation inside your mouth. Also, spitting out his sperm in disgust, or even doing so very calmly after a moment or two, without any visible distaste or negative reaction, is also hurtful to your husband. Consider: You had just freely accepted it fully inside your mouth while he was ejaculating, and now that he is done you are acting as though you regret having accepted his semen and/or that it was such a bad experience for you! How do you think your husband feels when you do that? At the last possible moment, you reject him. Why would you want to do that?! (Of the 2, we think the wife who hurriedly removes the penis prior to ejaculation is showing more rejection to her husband. At the least, accept his ejaculation even if you are going to spit it out afterward.)
Here, for the wives to consider, is a candid and honest comment from a husband.
Comment by krp5 on March 23, 2009 9:27 am
I can understand how wives may well not like, even adhore, the taste and texture of semen.
For me, when my wife sucks and swallows my semen it is such a psychologically powerful symbol/act of total acceptance and desire for me it is beyond description.
Again, one might say that when the loving wife shares and participates in his ejaculation and freely accepts and swallows her husband’s ejaculate, it is an example of the complementarity of her feminine nature and her husband’s masculine nature. Some wives have remarked that they feel more feminine when they do this.
Here are 2 comments (from another article).
Patricia Reply February 24, 2010
I did appreciate this article. Many years ago my husband explained to me that when he receives a blow job from me, it is creating such an intimate feeling for him, and it is as if to him I am totally accepting his essence. And he used the word “essence”. It was that special and intimate to him.
Julie Reply February 20, 2011
Like the article said I felt it a duty that I hated doing. Thought it was discusting and degrading. If this man loves me why would he want to degrade me like that? . . . . I used to despise giving a bj. This article has put in words what I couldnt explain to myslf. Why I now enjoy it and want to do so much more knowing it will make him happy by letting him know I understand his needs and desires as well as the need to let him be dominate and powerful. To know he’s willing and wanting to protect me when I open myself to him.
As we noted above, many husbands like to watch their wife swallowing. (We now expand on this important facet of oral sex.) This is a tangible sign of love and acceptance for the husband. As well, throughout the fellatio, it is very visually erotic and exciting for the husband to see his beautiful wife – fully nude or in lingerie – kneeling in front of him as she licks and sucks his penis. His wife will always appear beautiful to him when she is performing oral sex. Her mouth, eyes, and face in such intimate closeness and contact with his penis is stimulating for him to see. This visual aspect comes into play even more intensely during ejaculation and when she swallows the semen. Then the visual (and mental) excitement for the husband is nearly as pleasing (pleasurable) as the delightful sensations the penis is feeling. Wives: This is a very powerful combination (!) – the intense internal contractions pumping the semen, feeling the long streams of semen moving through his penis and then spurting out (very pleasant sensations), her warm mouth, lips and soft tongue grasping, sucking and caressing his sensitive penis, and the sight of his wife hungrily desiring/accepting his cum. This is why your husband desires ejaculating strongly inside your mouth at the end of your loving oral sex. He also desires that you participate in his ejaculation with some enthusiasm. (She can make this visual stimulation still better, more meaningful, if she can look up into her husband’s eyes at points during the climax, and when she swallows. By doing so, the shared emotional intimacy is enhanced and intensified. When looking into his eyes, (and sucking) as he ejaculates, the wife is saying/showing that she is an equal participant in the climax. His ejaculation is not complete without her active participation! Making eye contact while swallowing (easier to do) says to him that she is comfortable swallowing his cum, even when there is a large volume of it.) Husbands notice, appreciate and are thrilled when the wife enthusiastically accepts and swallows a large load completely. The confidence and persistence and loving acceptance she shows is valued by her husband.
cindyr114 Posted 07/10/2011
I have done it all ways but he likes to see me swallow so thats what we do.
I prefere to swallow, I love the look on he’s face when I have swallowed he’s juices and licked him clean.
This visual “turn-on” or “rush” is emotional as well as physical! Please note: It may be part of the male psychology or male ego, but many men experience a certain (extra) satisfaction when they see their wife “struggling” to accept and swallow all of an especially large cum load. This likely has 2 aspects. 1. The husband feels (himself to be) more virile, more masculine when he forcefully ejaculates for his wife in several strong shots such a large volume of semen that she has difficulty accepting and controlling (all of) it, and some spills out over her lips, and she needs (takes) more time swallowing it. This in no way is a negative about you, nor detracts from your loving efforts!! Rather, the man feels good about his performance, about his extra strong ejaculation. This first aspect is about him. And, 2. Seeing that his wife desires all of his ejaculate, all his sperm – even when it is a challenge for her to keep all of it in her mouth whilst he is ejaculating, and of a volume that then requires multiple swallows, multiple efforts by her to take all his cum down – reassures him even more strongly (in a sense) of her deep love and acceptance of him as a man. As said above, the wife’s willingness to swallow his sperm is psychologically gratifying for the husband. (This cannot be over stated.) This second aspect is about you. (As Svetlana recommended, some wives will in effect applaud or compliment their husband after receiving a (very) large load, and also let him know that she enjoyed receiving it. After swallowing, if you want, you can with a smile say something like: “What a great climax! That was hot.” or “That was a great cumshot darling! Love it.” or “I dig receiving your strong ejaculations. . . . Nice taste, too.” Be creative with the phrases you use as you compliment his performance, and convey that you enjoyed receiving it.) Thus, wives, by accepting and then swallowing his ejaculate (all that you have been able to keep in your mouth – even if a larger volume than you prefer), you are lovingly blessing your husband with intense and fulfilling pleasure – emotionally, mentally and physically! Swallowing truly is “a special gift” you can give your husband. But, it can also be very enjoyable – both physically and emotionally – for you as well, and is very healthy to do!
Here are 5 comments from wives on this visual aspect of the ejaculation and swallowing.
Daisy (a different person from comment above)
I love it when he comes in my mouth. If it’s in the back of the throat you don’t even taste it, it just slides right down. It actually turns me on hugely to see how much he enjoys it.
I’ve always swallowed. Now, I love seeing the look on my husband’s face as our eyes are locked on the other’s and he shoots his streams of cum into my mouth. It’s just magical.
xmare-marex Posted 08/26/2011
I always just swallow. It’s not the best tasting stuff in the world but, my hubby loves it and I love seeing him get off so I can deal with it.
mom in utah Posted 07/05/2011
I swallow. I love my husband’s cum. If I don’t swallow I let him shoot it whereever he wants. He loves to shoot it on my face.
texasangel76 June 22, 2011 at 10:39 AM
Apparently I’m in the minority. I have no problem swallowing. It’s not that big of a deal and my husband thinks it’s hot.
Here are comments about large ejaculations.
LoriLadybug (in her 30s)
I swallow about 3/4 of the time, the other time i spit it or put it on my face. My husband sometimes produces abnormally large amounts of semen and I cant swallow it all fast enough so I have to spit
Note the issue for Lori is not swallowing the cum, but being unable to comfortably accept (receive) and control a very large load from her husband.
I’ve also learned a little trick–my husband cums ALOT and it is almost impossible to swallow that much, so after he cums, I give a few final “lollipop” licks and some of the cum will simply drip back on him (which I will then clean up with a warm washcloth). the good part of this is that he doesn’t have a clue how much I swallow or don’t swallow.
. . . if I had a choice in the matter (and I don’t) I’d prefer that the amount of cum be what I can comfortably swallow without gagging or spitting any out. I know it makes a man feel virile and masculine to shoot so much of a wad that his partner can’t take it all . . .
Jannae (a young wife)
I LOVE swallowing semen whilst giving a blow job and I love it when there’s a lot of it.
Here is a very relevant comment from a wife about at first spitting and then swallowing for her husband. She found that swallowing the cum was better for her and her husband – a win-win situation.
(“DH” means ditto head, a slang term for husband.)
When I first had oral sex I would spit it out, and then over time I thought why not try swallowing it. I did and I really like the taste, and my DH also liked the fact that I would swallow his cum. He said it turned him on. Before I started swallowing I would go to the bathroom and spit it out, but over time I came to realize that, for my DH, it looked like I was disgusted with the oral act and so I now swallow and it is really enjoyable for the both of us.
(As noted above, some wives continue gently sucking and licking his “deflating” penis, after swallowing, to keep the post ejaculation intimacy and emotional closeness going for a while.)
If you absolutely cannot swallow, then at least discretely remove the semen from your mouth. We think it is much better to have a glass of water or juice nearby for drinking after swallowing, than to spit. (This helps relieve any lingering texture concerns in your throat.) The minimal effort in swallowing shows your husband greater acceptance. Here are 3 comments from wives that may help some women.
Peter’s devoted wife
DH has recently achieved being able to come in my mouth and he tastes fine but I still can’t swallow. So I’ve figured out a technique to spit without being obvious. DH didn’t even know I was spitting until I asked if it offended him, “You spit??? I thought you swallowed.” One day I hope to be able to swallow and enjoy it but there’s no rush because we’ve got something that works for us.
Comment by beatlemom on June 4, 2010 5:30 pm
I’m not a huge fan of swallowing, but my husband really likes me too so I do my best to do it for him. I at least hold it in my mouth under my tongue until he is done and then spit it in a towel. I don’t taste it that way, but it still feels to him like I swallowed and as long as I don’t make a face or act disgusted he is fine with that. . . . . . I have also found keeping a piece of candy in my mouth not only adds to the amount of saliva I have (makes it feel better to him) it also helps with the taste at the end. So just a thought.
I have swallowed before and hated it, i almost threw up. I then tried again with my DH and again couldnt care it. I would love to but i think it is more a turn off for the guy if you nearly puke over him and run for the toilet.
I tend to let him come in my mouth but have tissue by the bed to spit in to. Then he gets the satisfactions of coming there and i dont have to swallow Everyones happy
Ladies, if you are experiencing soreness in your jaw and/or neck fatigue because he takes too long to orgasm, the comments and suggestions in the “because he’s worth it” essay (linked to above) can help. As suggested there, if needed, you can even try engaging in intercourse until he is close to cumming, and then have him pull out and finish in your mouth as you suck his penis during the ejaculation. That way – without the discomfort and/or the protracted effort – you share with your husband the intimacy and excitement of his climax, and can easily taste, feel and swallow the cum (sensations which many wives enjoy!). This is a workable option for you and your husband if you have such discomfort in performing oral sex, or are not up to it for any reason.
From a marriage discussion forum, here is a comment by an anonymous husband about his wife’s pleasant surprise for him at the end of their lovemaking (intercourse).
She could tell I was getting close, and I was getting ready to orgasm and at the very next stroke, she jumped off my large, wet, erect penis and placed it down her throat, and she swallowed every last love drop. Not a beat was missed. She had it timed absolutely perfect. This blew my mind. Not only all of this, but she continued to suck me until I was completely spent and soft.
Here is a comment that addresses this challenge of jaw discomfort.
Comment by setteriknow on November 14, 2008 2:09 am
I totally agree with the hand-job and licking portion, as it seems my jaw gets tired quickly. I also throw in prostate massage. With the HJ and looking at him and whispering for him to release, I wait until he’s close and then take him in my mouth and swallow, which guarantees NO complaints even though he’s not in my mouth very long.
Good luck and don’t feel pressure as your husband loves you, loves your touch and will be happy with however you please him!
Here are 2 comments from women who swallow their man’s semen after intercourse.
Kevinandmaxine Posted 01/27/2011
I swallow Every time, even after intercourse when he pulls out ( I am on B.C. but we don’t wanna chance it.) I love the taste of his cum!
Havoks Mommy Posted 01/08/2011
I swallow often, and have no issue doing so. It obviously doesn’t taste like candy, but it’s tolerable and doesn’t make me want to hurl.
I always swallow if he gets off while I’m giving him a BJ, and there’s been a few times were he’ll pull out and I’ll swallow after intercourse.
Consider that when you share and participate in his ejaculation by welcoming all the pulses (of his warm semen) inside your warm, wet mouth as you continue sucking (vigorously), you are affectionately demonstrating complete acceptance of him. As well, you are showing a willingness to give him complete and total access to (possession of) an intimate part of your body, your mouth, because you love and trust him. You are making love to your husband with your mouth, lips, and tongue – and the lovemaking is not complete without his climax. Your mouth is pleasing, embracing, and sheltering his penis while he ejaculates away. Your soft tongue is caressing the underside of his hard penis, tickling its head, enhancing his sensations, as he lets go and pumps his load into your mouth. And, in readily and joyously swallowing his semen, you, his wife, are saying “I even love your cum (semen, sperm), because it is yours.”
Consider this seriously – what are you communicating to your husband? Love, respect and acceptance, or needless fear and rejection?
And, ladies, when you do not feel up to intercourse (for whatever reason(s)), fellatio will be the easy and fun option that works for both of you – any time and every time. Many wives perform fellatio for their husbands during their menstruation, readily and easily swallowing every time.
Thanks for reading and kindly pass this on to any young, or not so young, newlyweds you know who may benefit from it. As well, ladies, if one of your close friends or relatives has confided to you that she is having difficulties in this area, kindly share the link to this essay with her. She may thank you later for helping her to improve the quality of the lovemaking in her marriage.
Has this very long essay been helpful to you? Feel free to submit a comment below.