when you are vulnerable

During a crisis, that is when you need to keep your wits about you.  But, that is the most difficult time to keep a cool head and refrain from rash, short-sighted decisions and harmful actions.  When so much seems against you and you are faced with several problems assaulting you all at once, that is when you must be extra careful and avoid becoming your own worst adversary and doing yourself (and others) serious harm.

 

Even in the moments of greatest trial and greatest despair, one can choose to not give in to anger or frustration.  One can choose not to do the destructive action even if it feels good at the moment, even if it lets out some stress temporarily.  We have free will in how we choose to react to or deal with times of great stress when we are being hammered from several directions.

Life will, from time to time, direct multiple challenges at you at the same time.  Doubt this?  Your very own life experiences will show you this sooner or later.

It is at these times of multiple assaults from multiple directions or areas of our life that we are most vulnerable.  Each of us has a breaking point under severe stress.  Each of us has a limit to how much we can endure.  Do not bother believing the bull crap that we are never tested beyond our limits.  That is made up nonsense from those who live in ivory towers and are disconnected from reality.

In my life, which has not been exemplary, the most harmful mistakes I made, the mistakes that harmed others and myself the most, were made in times of crisis.  These were the times when it was so easy to throw caution to the winds and react aggressively (out of frustration) but also, most regrettably, destructively.

There are times and situations where the best option, the best choice is to walk away, tell yourself we won’t fix this today but perhaps tomorrow we will make some progress on this.  We tend to think that we must do something at a critical time.  And, yes, there are many crises that demand decisive actions. Yet, there are also many painful situations where the best thing to do is to do nothing.  If there are no constructive actions to be taken, at least avoid destructive, harmful, hurtful actions.  There are situations where you cannot force a quick resolution.

When life throws many painful issues at you, when you have endured frustrations for a long period of time, when you are despairing, when you are hurting and see no way to improve the situation, when you are without hope, that is the critical time.  In this moment, this hour, this day or week, you are most vulnerable.  You cannot see it at this time, but this time of crisis will pass.  Even though things may not improve quickly, the worst can be over and you may not realize it.  In the moments of greatest frustration and despair and pain, do not act rashly but try to retain your self-control and a rational frame of mind.

Severe crises in our lives can push us to a state of temporary insanity.  When you are in such an agitated and non rational state of mind you can and will do things that later you will not believe you could do them.  The question is asked “What possessed him (or her) to do that?  It is so unlike him/her.”

I am not saying this is easy.  In fact, it is one of the most difficult things for most of us to do.  Even those trained to solve problems and to be mentally tough have their moments of crisis, their life changing tests.  (Seek out the help of others, those you trust.  Do not think that you have to face major crises alone.  As well, if you believe in God, then pray.  Prayers are not always answered on our human time tables, but prayers are heard by God.)

When you are hurting and see little or no reason for hope, be very careful not to do destructive things to yourself (or others) out of your current pain.  You will only make your life even more painful.

 

exploratorium 4

 

copyright 2014 – larrysmusings.com

3 thoughts on “when you are vulnerable

  1. Larry, it’s nice to see a man’s post on these link-ups for a change. Great advice. I used to have a very short fuse and would get angry and walk away, thinking, “okay, now I feel better.” But I didn’t think to look behind me in the wake of emotions that I walked all over from the people I wounded in the process. Age has a way of maturing us into realizing that it’s not all about us. Good advice. Thanks for sharing with us gals!

  2. Thanks Mary for your thoughts. Yes, life can be a harsh teacher. I have been guilty of trying to do it all myself, so to speak. There were times I ought to have reached out for help from others, and did not. But, we try to learn from our mistakes. Best wishes.

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