Can women sexually harass men? Is that even possible?
Back in the summer and into the early autumn of 2000, I was working on a contract in a tech start-up company. One day, in conversation with a co-worker – a younger man than I but who had been in the workforce for several years – the topic of workplace sexual harassment came up. He said this to me: “Women sexually harass men all the time.” He was giving voice to a frustration felt by many men that such female harassment of males is rarely ever discussed, and is thus allowed to continue. That is a double standard, and it is born out of political correctness.
Last week, we cautioned readers about falling prey to ideological bias. If you have to filter everything in life through an ideological lens, you will have a distorted perception of reality. With feminist ideology, men cannot be victims and women cannot be victimizers. And, per the ideologically driven bias, we must believe women and distrust and disbelieve men whenever and wherever there is a conflict in their stories. Period. End of story.
(As we claim to be in a new age of equality, I do not give women a free pass on really anything anymore. But, that’s just me. It is easy to respect a woman who, by her behavior, gives evidence of having some self-respect and is living a responsible life. But, as to those women who are living their lives recklessly and irresponsibly, that is a different matter.)
Let us consider another double standard in the workplace.
Women are allowed, without censure, to show emotions in the workplace. But, if men dare show emotions, that is taboo and leads to a loss of respect for them by their peers (co-workers). If a man gets angry, out of frustration (perhaps from ongoing insults by women), he is seen as acting beyond the boundaries of acceptable workplace behavior, and is not acting like a man should. Women know this double standard, and they do purposely needle men quite often, and they largely get away with it. (We must note here that it is not unusual to find that the offending woman has an axe to grind with men, all men, because of past failed relationship(s) with men.)
Real world experience trumps the ideological lens in drawing correct conclusions.
“Down with the patriarchy! Up with the sisterhood!”
other related thoughts
Having worked with and for a number of women over the years of my working life, I do see the need for, and value of, teamwork for women. Some women are team players, but many are not yet there. Team sports for girls in their formative years are a good idea. Instilling the idea, at an early age, of working together with others towards a shared goal can help women later on in their working lives.
Guys, the answer is not to go gay. One thing you can do is to look at your own thinking and be on guard against acting contrary to your own best interests out of fear of offending hyper sensitive, emoting “bitchy” females. Another approach that can work at times is to talk to such problematic women one on one. Ask her what is bothering her. Let her know that you know there is an unresolved problem or stressor that she has that really ought to be faced and addressed by her. (Gently remind her that there are resources available to help her.) Once you verbally corner a bully with their vulnerability, such a person may not be so quick to bully you in the future. Of course, this generic advice needs to be tailored to both the individual person and particular situation.
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