back to school, sex and self respect

This essay is for college co-eds returning to colleges and universities across the US over the next few weeks for the Fall term.

Here is some advice:  do not get into bed on the second date.  Do not get into the habit of having casual sex.  (And, yes, by “sex” we include the practice of “oral sex”.)

If a guy, a “boyfriend”, or a casual “hook-up” is only interested in having access to your body for sex, he likely is not really interested in you as a person.  For successful, lasting relationships, more than sex is required.

Now, you may feel that you have to give sex early on to keep a guy interested in you and to keep him seeing you.  You may come to that conclusion because so many other young women on campus are doing just that to keep their boyfriends as boyfriends.  But, what does that say about you?

I would humbly suggest that you not let what others are doing influence how you conduct yourself.  (Screw peer pressure.)  Don’t follow the crowd.  Do not forget that you are an individual.

You might also consider questioning the idea, the premise, that being promiscuous or “sexually active” is somehow liberating to you as a young, single woman.  Sadly, feminism, with its excesses, has served to distort women’s understanding of themselves as women.

As well, do not think that you are “wasting” good time or good opportunities if you postpone sex until you are out of school in a few years’ time and get married.  Today, many married couples in their 60s are having good sex regularly.  This is no bull.  You have decades of good sex (really we prefer to use the term “lovemaking”) in your marriage ahead of you.  You will be able to make love with your husband thousands of times in your married life.

Let me tell you how many guys – that is fairly decent young men who are worth getting to know as prospects for your future husband – think of young women.  If they know that a girl is an easy score (falls into bed quickly and easily), they do not respect her very much. Some of these young men may want to have sex with such a young woman for the fun of it, but they are not likely thinking that she is worth trying to have a lasting relationship with. (And, many guys use very vulgar phrases or terms to describe girls who are easy scores.)

Personally, I have no difficulty respecting those women that I see who have self respect and they demonstrate their self respect in how they live their lives.  For those women who show that they lack self respect – and again that is shown in how they conduct themselves – it is very difficult for me to respect them.

my personal experiences in this area

From my own experiences, I learned that having sex in dating relationships was a mistake. Why?  Because the frequent, “feel good” sex that we (the woman and myself) enjoyed distracted both of us and made it difficult to see if we really had anything in common, any serious prospects for a lasting, mutually beneficial and committed relationship.  Months later, we realized that we were, in a way, strangers to each other and that what little we knew of each other indicated that we did not have much in common and did not have the same goals and personal values.  (I recall writing as much in a comment on one of the Christian marriage blogs some time back.  It was J. Parker’s hotholyhumorous.com blog. She does a great job on her blog and we applaud her efforts, her honesty and her courage.)

From these bad experiences, I decided that I would not seek to have sex early on in any future relationships.  This decision was reached prior to meeting the woman who would eventually be my wife of many years.

our advice for young women

Here, we are going to tell you what you need to hear as opposed to what you may want to hear.

So our advice to college women is to wait, and not fall into the trap of having sex with guy after guy that you meet in the hopes that sooner or later one of them will be “Mr. Right”. Avoid the empty, bitter regretful feeling that comes when you realize that you were used for sex by men who did not really want to get to know you the person.  Avoid the exposure to sexually transmitted infections (STIs) – some of which stay with you for life.  Avoid exposure to the various strains of HPV (and Gardasil is no protection for several strains). Avoid the unplanned pregnancies and the abortions.  (No birth control is 100% effective, and condoms do not prevent all infections as these some times tear, and some viruses are smaller than the microscopic pores of the latex in the condoms.)

By cultivating your self-respect and your self-control, you will be very attractive to a quality young man who will view you as the kind of woman he wants for a wife and not the kind of woman he just wants to “fuck” and party with for a time while he is away at school.

If you turn a boyfriend down for sex, and explain to him that it is not anything personally against him but is because you do not believe in casual sex or sex so early on in a relationship, he will either leave and go on his way (which says he was not interested in you), or he will show you that he really wants to get to know you as he values you as a person and not merely as a body to be enjoyed for sex.

The choice on how you live your life is, of course, yours to make.  But, you ought to think about the consequences of your choices and thereby perhaps make better choices.

Sharing is caring as they say.  Please pass a link to this essay on to anyone you know who may benefit from it.  Thanks.

We have used this photo of ours previously, but it still adds a dash of color to an essay.

 

3 orange cups

 

copyright 2014 – larrysmusings.com

Charlotte Perkins Gilman – some challenging thoughts

Charlotte Perkins Gilman (1860 – 1935) was a writer, speaker and an early feminist.

Before turning to the main points of our essay, consider this excerpt from her short story, Turned (September, 1911), a tale of marital infidelity:

Mrs. Marroner came of stern New England stock.  She was not a Calvinist, hardly even a Unitarian, but the iron of Calvinism was in her soul: of that grim faith which held that most people had to be damned “for the glory of God.”

That is food for thought.

(Now, please, dear readers do not be upset or angry with me.  These essays are only meant to stimulate thinking.)

Gilman also wrote a lengthy work titled his Religion and hers – a study of the faith of our fathers and the work of our mothers (1925).  Parts of this treatise are online and freely available for reading.  I read a little of it earlier this week.

The subject matter of the treatise can prompt a thinking person to consider the following challenging questions.

Questions – perhaps without answers.

Would religions governed by women have given us something (an approach) more positive, more constructive and more effective in motivating people to live better, more loving lives than fear, guilt, and the rationalizations for (and even glorification of) the suffering in this world?!

Would a religion governed by women have been more effective, more successful in teaching people how to love God?  (For some, that is seen as the purpose of religion.)

(We note that there have been women shamans and women healers throughout the ages. In ancient times, there were priestesses in various polytheistic or pagan religions.  Today, various Christian denominations are now ordaining women as priests, ministers, etc.)

There have been harmful abuses with organized religion over the millenia.  (Is that heresy?  We include a link below to a recent essay on such abuses.)  Male priesthoods seem not to have learned that beyond a certain point a guilt ridden, fear based approach to motivating moral living becomes counter-productive (as people can be driven to despair and think “Why bother trying?”).  And, it does appear that the rule-givers are often far removed from or disconnected from the lived realities, the real-world experiences of their followers, the laity.  (My personal view for some years has been that if a clique of individuals (pastors, priests, rabbis, etc.) insists on playing moral arbiter over all aspects of our lives, then these individuals need to have sufficient competence to deal effectively with moral complexity.  There is a legitimate and proper role for religious moral authority, but there is the ever-present danger of the abuse of that authority.)

The pleasure of power is too strong a temptation for both men and women to resist.  Thus, it is quite likely that there would have been problems and abuses with organized, hierarchical religions governed by women.  To try to specify what exactly those problems and abuses might be would only be conjecture and speculation on our part.  But, it may be that there would have been some similar abuses and some very different ones in female dominated religion (as contrasted to male dominated religion).

The question arises: Would there have been less war, fewer wars throughout history ( a sexist term itself? – “his story”) if women had been in charge and held the positions of authority in government and society?  Would warfare have been more humane (if this is not an oxymoron, a prima facie contradiction – humane war)?  Perhaps, there would have been less war crimes, fewer atrocities purposely committed against civilians and non-combatants.  (We have previously written on the horrors and immorality of Allied war crimes in World War II in June, 2012 and in February, 2014.)

Observing women and having interacted with them over the course of my adult life, I would venture to say that there would have been wars over the millenia if women had been in power.  Women have a flawed (or if you prefer, “fallen”) human nature just as men have.  The competitiveness and in-fighting amongst women can be every bit as intense and bitter as it is among men.  Cultural anthropologists and some historical evidence inform us that women in some cultures have fought alongside men in battle.  Margaret Thatcher (1982) and Golda Meir (1973) have taken their nations to war within living memory.  (Of course, one could object and say that these were merely reactions to provocations coming from the opposing countries’ male dominated governments.)

Nirvana is not of this world.  A male dominated world (with its male dominated religion) has not worked out very well.  Charlotte Perkins Gilman was correct in that assessment. Yet, a female dominated world would have had its problems, albeit these might very well have been somewhat different in nature and scope and severity.  Perhaps, the future path, the sensible path for humanity is the path of valuing the insights and judgement and experiences of both women and men.  Perhaps, we ought to strive for cooperation among men and women – with equal dignity and respect for both sexes and for their respective contributions.

https://larrysmusings.com/2014/05/20/some-thoughts-on-organized-religion-past-and-present-and-the-spiritual-impulse-in-humans-part-two/

(We will be off the grid for several days and have no access to the Internet.  Thus, if there are any reader comments, these will have to await our return for approval.)

As always, best wishes to all.

Copyright 2014 – larrysmusings.com

Now, we present some lyrics from I’ll Be Your Shelter, a song sung by singer Taylor Dayne.

. . . .

I’ll see you through
I’ll cover you with a love so deep and warm and true
I will be there, oh

Honey, I’ll be your shelter
I’ll be the one to take you through the night
Whenever you need shelter
I’ll make everything alright
Make everything alright, yeah

. . . .

Nia Sanchez of Nevada is the new Miss USA

Nia is a very impressive young woman who has dealt with hardship in her own life. She will be an outstanding Miss USA. We, who live in Nevada, wish her all the best and are very proud of her.

NEWS AT PAGEANT LOVERS.COM

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Newly crowned Miss USA Nia Sanchez is a fourth-degree black belt in taekwondo and says women should be able to defend themselves as a way to battle the problem of campus rape.

The 24-year-old from Las Vegas said bringing awareness to the issue is very important.

Sanchez beat out 50 other contestants from all the states and the District of Columbia on Sunday night for the title of 63rd Miss USA. First runner-up was Miss North Dakota Audra Mari. Sanchez will go on to represent the U.S. at the Miss Universe competition later this year.

In a vibrant red floor-length fishtail gown, Miss Nevada answered judge Rumer Willis’ question about the high rate of sexual assaults on college campuses. Willis, the 25-year-old daughter of actors Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, said 19 percent of U.S. undergraduate women are victims of sexual assault and asked Sanchez why she thinks the issue…

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the real war on women – or the 2 wars on women

the real war on women – or the 2 wars on women

For readers outside of the US, we provide some needed background and context.  During the 2012 US presidential campaign, a relatively young, unmarried woman at Georgetown University Law Center, Sandra Fluke, complained that her birth control was not covered under her student health plan and was very upset over that.  She was given much national news media attention and her remarks were viewed many times on YouTube.  This quickly evolved or morphed into a campaign slogan that actually had a powerful effect. “The War on Women” that the opposition party, the Republicans, were waging or would wage if elected motivated millions of single, young women to vote for the re-election of Barack Obama (despite the high unemployment rate among young women).  One could argue that this was the difference in the re-election of President Obama.  (We actually wrote about this prior to the election of 2012 in our essay, US election: single women hold the key).

Whether the lack of health insurance (financial) coverage for birth control pills, regimens, devices, etc. constitutes a “war on women” or not is left to the individual reader to decide for herself/himself.

Now, let us consider what we see as 2 more substantive wars on women occurring concurrently in our world today.

in the developed Western world

The assault on true femininity.  And, it is a war on the dignity of women as women.

You have not noticed this over the past few decades?

Equity feminism is a good and necessary thing, but gender or radical feminism is not helpful to women (or to men) as radical feminism gives rise to enmity between the sexes. Equity feminism was hijacked in the 1960s by some women, who appear to have had much personal bitterness from failed personal relationships and marriages in their own lives. (Some of these women admit as much in their biographies.)  Bitterness does motivate some individuals to actions they would not otherwise undertake.  The demands for preferential treatment, the condescending attitudes towards men, the idea that men do not play an important role in a family as a husband and father and are largely unnecessary (thus the rise in single parent households), the view that women who wish to be “stay at home” mothers are wasting their talents and not fulfilling their potential, the reduced respect for child-bearing (inside or outside of wedlock), the adamant insistence on abortion rights are some of the bitter fruits of gender (or what may be more accurately termed “radical”) feminism.

Guess what?  This is not new.  It actually goes back to Engels’ writings (in the 1800s) on the family and the social fabric of society.  The bitter poisons of Marx and Engels are still with us today, and these remain very potent in their destructive potential.

In my view, when women are led to believe they have to adopt the habits, the attitudes, the personality characteristics of men to be equal to men, these women have done injury to themselves, to the dignity of their true natures.  Equality does not mean “being the same as” or “exactly conforming to one model of behavior”.

As I noted last week in an essay, while at university, I made the conscious choice that I would not bother dating a “feminist”.  Forgive me for being blunt here.  I did not want to eventually marry a male personality in a woman’s body.  I believe in equity feminism and in the equal dignity of women and men.  The way to address and remedy past injustices is not through going to the other extreme and visiting similar injustices or injuries on to men.

(My wife of many years believes strongly in equity feminism and has attained to career success through her own efforts and hard work over many years.  She rejects gender/radical feminism.)

in the non-Western world

Reader discretion is advised for this section.

In the non-Western world, a war against women continues that has real world casualties. This war is not so abstract.

In the Muslim world, women are treated as chattels and have no real rights.  What goes on in these countries?  In some of these countries, women and girls do not have the right to bodily integrity, and the horrific, barbaric, immoral practice of female genital mutilation continues in the year 2014.  Women and girls are not educated in many Muslim nations. They are not allowed to drive a car in some of these nations.  They endure a strict dress code that is dehumanizing.  They do not have equal standing before the law.  In some Muslim countries, women have no property rights.  You get the idea.  And, if a woman is raped in many a Muslim country she will be blamed for her assault.  Taken together, I think there is a true war on women going on in the Muslim world.

In mainland (communist) China, there is a continuing genocide of female babies.  This must not be trivialized!  (We could have posted this essay under the tag of “human rights”, but all we see under that tag are essays on politically correct “rights”.  The God-given right to life is not politically correct in these times.)  Here is what is going on in China today because of its official one child policy (since 1979).  Female infanticide.  (Caution: Here we cite a graphic example.  A terrible case we read of 2 or 3 years ago is that of a baby girl (called Mei) who was born with a minor birth defect.  This girl needed a very simple surgical procedure to open her rectum to allow for normal elimination.  This baby girl was denied the simple surgery (because of her sex) that would have corrected her birth defect and allowed her to live a normal, healthy life.  She was allowed to die a painful death.)  The killing of baby girls occurs every day and in large numbers as China has a very large population of people in their reproductive years.  Sex selection abortions and forced abortions also are performed daily in China.  Sterilizations of women are also performed without their consent.  Contrary to UN propaganda, China has not backed away from rigid and coercive enforcement of its one child policy.

Even in India, the historical home of much deep and profound spiritual wisdom and insights, women are today at a disadvantage.  This is not a de jure disadvantage inherent in modern Indian law and legal statutes, but is a de facto disadvantage due to long-standing cultural habits and attitudes.  (Sadly, there is also some female infanticide in India.)

Similarly, in sub-Saharan Africa women do not enjoy equality in many nations due to cultural habits and social customs.  And, female genital mutilation is practiced in some countries of the region.

conclusions

Much of the world does not respect and value women and girls as women and girls.  In many countries, both those considered advanced and developed and those less developed, women and girls do not enjoy equal dignity, equal rights and respect in society.

All of us, women and men, need to work together to correct this.  We need to work to end the injustices.  Here equity feminism is helpful.  But, the excesses and extremes that we see in gender (radical) feminism do not help.

The sad irony is that so many self-proclaimed women’s rights advocacy groups ignore this assault on the value of women as women.  I do not recall hearing any criticism or condemnation from these women’s groups of the genocide directed at baby girls in China, or of the harsh, coercive treatment of women (through forced sterilizations and forced abortions).

Copyright 2014 – larrysmusings.com

The below image is by kind courtesy of a woman friend.

 

purple flowers

 

Thanks for reading.

women and men think differently – some thoughts

Reader discretion is advised.

Recalling the several times that I listened to the Dr. Laura (Schlesinger) radio show (back when it was on the air a few years ago), it appears that there is a perpetual conflict or tension within the thinking of many women.  Why do I say this?  To female caller after female caller, Dr. Laura would give sound, rational, principled, constructive advice on their interpersonal relationships, their issues with their children, conflicts with in-laws, etc.  She could do this as she was not emotionally invested in the problems that the callers were asking her about.  The reaction to the advice from a woman caller typically went like this “Yes, but  . . . .” or “Yes, I see that, but  . . . .”.  Then the caller would essentially make excuses for why she would find it difficult to follow Dr. Laura’s suggestions.  The “yes” was acknowledging that the woman caller could rationally see the good sense of the advice and insights offered to her.  The “but” indicated that the emotional side of the caller’s thinking was kicking in and was not so comfortable with the rational suggestions received.

This internal conflict between the reason and the emotions also is apparent in many men, but seems to be significantly more prevalent among women.  It is not just cultural conditioning.  In fact, I dare say that culture has little to do with it.  We wrote much earlier about a book (Brain Sex) that argues that the differences between the sexes (in their thinking and respective strengths and weaknesses) lie in the differences in the structures and the interconnections within the respective female and male brains.  The hormones, those very powerful mind altering bio-chemicals, also play a key role in explaining the differences in thinking.  Thus, there is a biological/physiological basis for the differences we observe in the thinking of women and the thinking of men.

 

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So what?

Recognizing that there are inherent differences in thinking and respective aptitudes, and understanding and appreciating these differences, can actually help foster mutual understanding and respect between the sexes (and reduce unnecessary and destructive tensions and animosities).

Politically incorrect or insensitive, you say?  The truth may not be politically correct, but we need more truth these days.

personal observations

It does seem that our society (in the US) does not value authentic feminine characteristics in women and authentic masculine characteristics in men these days.  In competing in the areas of career and other pursuits, women have in effect had to imitate men in various ways.  Yet, it is still possible for a woman to succeed in the business world or the professions and still retain her inherent femininity.  Men, who are masculine, can be sensitive to, and understanding of, women’s needs.

We do not look favorably on those individuals and groups that seek to turn women and men against each other.  Rather, it is better to foster and encourage understanding and mutual respect among women and men.  (We see such divisive individuals and organizations in the area of race relations here in the US as well, sorry to say.)

Being somewhat fair-minded by nature, I made up my mind while an undergraduate (in the late 1970s) that I had no patience with those young women who had a chip on their shoulder and insisted on preferential treatment.  Thus, I never dated a “feminist”.

I eventually married a woman who was born overseas and had come to this country in her early teens.  So, the challenge for me was to interact constructively with a woman from another culture (non-Western).  This presented many challenges.

For me, there is no denying that men and women think differently.  It is amazing just how differently my wife and I think.  We share values (social, moral, etc.) yet we do not have the same priorities.  We do not approach challenges and problems from the same perspective.  We did not achieve a very good goal congruence over the years and that did, at times, lead to some serious friction within our marriage.  (Some of this was due to the difference in culture and upbringing.  But, independent of culture, our thinking is still very different.)  But, as they say, love conquers all.

Here are 2 quotes from an earlier essay of ours on feminism that are apropos here.

Women and men need not be perpetual adversaries locked in a continual zero sum game of conflict and competition.  Men and women complement each other as each has strengths the other needs!

And, from the same essay:

The truth, as unpopular or “politically incorrect” as it may be, is that women are not somehow more angelic or pure of spirit, or of superior character than men are.  Women and men are of equal human dignity.  But, both men and women have equally flawed human natures.  Women can be, and are at times, every bit as selfish (or self-absorbed, if you prefer) as men can be and are.  Women can engage in self-destructive behavior as men do.  (They abuse drugs, contract STIs through promiscuous sex, etc. just as men do.)

Just food for thought.

We will now direct our efforts to finishing up our essay on organized religion and the spiritual impulse in humans.

Copyright 2014 – larrysmusings.com

appreciating the beauty of the female form

As we have some artists and a couple of models among our readers, we present this essay.

The beauty of women and the female form have inspired poetry and song, and art (sculpture, painting, carvings, drawings) throughout human history.  This may be due in part to how men’s brains are wired.  Men are such visually oriented creatures.  (One recalls that from The Iliad of Homer, we are led to believe that the Trojan War was fought for the return of Helen, queen of Sparta and renowned as the most beautiful woman in the world.)

As well, ancient philosophers, the Taoists of China, knew that it takes both a feminine energy or principle (the yin) and a masculine energy or principle (the yang) to make the world go round.  The complementarity of opposites as found in nature.  And, humans are a part of nature.

We were not sure how to title this essay.  Alternatively, we could have made the essay’s title: “celebrating the beauty of the female form”, or “the beauty and timeless appeal of the female form”.

We must add that the most important beauty of a person, the beauty that endures – even when the flesh withers with time – is the inner beauty.  The beauty of a loving personality.

It won’t be long now until Americans will be flocking to the nation’s beaches (on 3 coasts, Atlantic, Gulf and the Pacific) and to lakes and swimming pools. After the terrible winter and difficult spring so much of the country has endured, the return of summer will be most welcome.  At the beaches, there will be plenty of natural beauty to see.

Here we present 3 contemporary examples of female beauty.  (We do not wish to over do it, thus we present only 3 pics.)

The future belongs to young women.  And, they add so much vitality to the present.

 

bikini

 

A friend gave us kind permission to use her photo in this essay.  This is nicely done.  A woman’s hair, her long tresses, adds so much to her beauty.  As well, there is a certain raw, untamed, natural vitality and a hint of mystery in this image.

 

nicely done

 

As to the next photo, we tell you that we are pro-woman, and for the right of self-defense, thus we are pro-gun.  Here we see the beauty of the model’s shapely figure used to make a statement.  (Nice nail polish.)

 

self defense

 

****** we aim to please – but we cannot please everyone ******

Is it wrong – or even a sin – to admire the natural beauty?  We do not think so.

closing thoughts

We condemn those societies wherein women are oppressed and abused by sexually maladjusted men, who are not natural, confident, mentally healthy men and who do not respect women and girls.

We present the lyrics to the first 2 verses of the song “Never Been to Spain” by Three Dog Night from 1971.  It is apropos as to the effect of women’s beauty on men.

Well, I’ve never been to Spain
But I kinda like the music
Say the ladies are insane there
And they sure know how to use it

They don’t abuse it
Never gonna lose it
I can’t refuse it

 

relevant earlier essays

Here is a more in-depth essay:

https://larrysmusings.com/2013/06/01/the-feminine-mystique/

A single, intriguing photo in this next essay.

https://larrysmusings.com/2012/07/14/summer-girls/

Thanks for reading.

the feminine mystique

the feminine mystique

The tea was served by a young woman with an innocent and natural (not forced) smile.  Her honest eyes gave witness to a simple joy.

As I sipped the hot jasmine tea, and gazed out the window of the tea shop, my mind went into a meandering reverie of all the women I had encountered over the years in so many situations. . . . .  a rose worn in jet black hair will catch any man’s eye . . . .

Let’s explore this a little, okay?

European painters in the late 1800s were fascinated with the feminine mystique, especially in young women.  The simplicity, the in the now, earthy, down to earth, carefree nature of young women made a significant impression on many of these painters (Renoir, Monet, etc.)  Young women were the subject of many of their paintings (in both urban and rural settings).

As well, many authors and poets have been enchanted by women throughout the centuries.  Consider Robert W. Chambers (American, 1865 – 1933).  Chambers appears to have been an incurable romantic as many writers of fiction seem to be.  And, reading his short stories, one gets the impression this was independent of attempts to boost his sales.

(It is interesting that many of Chambers’ stories were written in the first person.  All 3 of the following examples were written in the first person.  Two of the stories were set in France.  Chambers had lived and studied in France when a young man.)

Chambers’ relevant short stories that give examples of the feminine mystique include:

The Yellow Sign – with the character, Tessie, the painter’s model possessing youthful vivacity, and feminine charm and beauty.

The Demoiselle d’Ys – with Jeanne, the French maiden and young Countess, in A.D. 1573 rural France.  A cultured woman trained in falconry, with a pure and loving heart.

The Mask – set in Paris, with the 18-year-old beauty, Genevieve.

We quote from The Mask:

“Genevieve was lovely.  . . . . .  But I was always glad when she changed that mood for what we called her “April Manoeuvres”.  She was often as variable as an April day.  In the morning grave, dignified and sweet, at noon laughing, capricious, at evening whatever one least expected.  I preferred her so rather than in that Madonna-like tranquility which stirred the depths of my heart.” 

All three of these stories appeared in Chambers’ The King in Yellow in 1895.

Men’s interest and attraction to this feminine mystique may have to do with how the male brain is wired, and is not just visual in nature.  A woman’s voice can have a definite and profound effect on a man.  Consider how popular female vocalists are.  Some of the biggest selling songs are sung by women.  Who (in the Western world) has not heard at least some of the songs by Barbra Streisand, Vanessa Williams, (the late) Karen Carpenter, (the late) Donna Summer, etc.?

On a personal note, way back in the summer of 1978 during college days, a co-worker had a police scanner in his car hooked into the radio.  We would at times listen to what came over the scanner.  There was a woman dispatcher in one of the police stations we were picking up.  She had a very – what are the right words to use? – soft, silky, sultry voice.  Her voice was the most enticing (seductive?) I have ever heard, and hence I can still remember it 35 summers later.  We wondered what she must look like.  The male brain seems to almost automatically infer that such a sweet female voice would belong to a stunningly attractive woman.  But, this is not necessarily so.  (And, dear readers, let us be clear, the real value in a person, woman or man, is in the kind of person they are, not in their looks.)

When I say to the young women who ring up the groceries, “the future belongs to young women”, they often smile.

Related thoughts

Much is made these days about the differences between men and women.

The paradox is that even in the very center of the one, the other is present.  This is visually indicated by the yin and yang symbol from Taoism.  (The yin is the feminine and is indicated by the dark area.  The yang is the masculine and is indicated by the light colored area.)

blue yin and yang 3

In certain writings on psychology, one finds mention of a feminine component of a man’s psyche, and a masculine component of a woman’s psyche.  I seem to recall the terms used in reference to these are “anima” and “animus”.

The complementarity of opposites.  Men need the strengths of women, and women need the strengths of men.  (Thus, the sexes ought not be at war with each other.)  As lone individuals, we are not complete.  And, we share the “X” chromosome.  Men are not the result of two “Y” chromosomes.  All of us, at the earliest stages of development in the womb are female.  (This was discussed in the book, Brain Sex.  The baby boy’s male hormones have to struggle to overcome his mother’s female hormones that are circulating within his blood stream during the pregnancy.)  We will address this universal “femaleness” briefly in an upcoming essay from the spiritual perspective.

June is femininity appreciation month.  If enough people agree, we can make it so.

Is femininity valued very highly these days in these United States?  Have we redefined what it means to be feminine?

This photo captures something of the feminine mystique.  Note the model’s eyes.  The black and white image is likely more alluring than a color image might be.  More than good looks are conveyed.  The subject’s eyes show a strength and an affirmation.

feminine mystique

The allure and mystery that women hold for men is more than just mere physical attraction or “sex appeal”, and it goes much deeper into a man’s psyche than many realize.

Here are a couple of good songs by Ray Obiedo you might be interested in listening to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPHx-PPLfoU    “Forever”

This next song has a beautiful video accompaniment. “lemanja”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2VCv59W50Q&feature=endscreen&NR=1

Thanks for reading.